It was just yesterday when..

A Decade. 10 Years. 120 Months. 3653 Days.

I wanted say who’s counting. But looks like even if I wasn’t, life was.

That’s how long it has been. I don’t want to count the hours, minutes or seconds. Because to me, it feels like just this morning. Maybe to my sister it feels like a few hours ago. And to my mom it might feel like just a second ago. I cannot speak for them, I don’t want to.

But yeah. It’s been that long since we last heard your voice. Since we last saw your smiling face. Since I last had you respond to my calling “Papa”.

For anyone who is going through a loss and asking themselves “Will it hurt less as time flies?”, My answer, 10 years later, are my wet eyes and running nose.

Is it weird that I am in tears as I type this 10 years later; while I was able to hold them back 10 years ago on this day? (I still don’t know how I did it, maybe because you once had asked me to) Maybe. Maybe not. I am in no mood to psychoanalyze myself.

“Time heals. It will hurt less.” I never for once fooled myself into believing these words. This void my dad has left in us will always hurt.

But what time does, is help us live with this pain, a little more gracefully with a little more acceptance and without us coming apart at the seams.

Yes, death is part of life. We know it’s coming. But this crude fact doesn’t make it any easier for the living to move on like it never happened.

We miss you Papa. I miss our chats; the monologues I have now are no fun. Our love for you has not faded one bit, not that you ever doubted it or that you care anymore.

We will continue to be happy, continue to talk to you like you are around us, continue to live like you are watching us, continue to tell your stories to the one’s who didn’t know you; all while still hurting for not having you in our life anymore.

Thank you for being there for us, for as long as you could Papa. We will remember you till we forget how to breathe.

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