When Silence Speaks...

There is a silence around me in this party I am dancing but my steps keep missing the beats The crowd is happy and so am I But my heart still seems to be stuck somewhere else  The music I hear isn’t the same ringing in my mind The laughters, the happiness it’s all true Yet the voices in my heart seem more real The heat of your breath down my neck Warmth of your hand on my waist The moist of your lips on my cheek It’s the fragrance of you that still lingers fresh You aren’t with me here, anymore But you still have a piece of my heart I still live love and laugh like you never existed But there’s a vacuum that still holds you Like you are still around... Dated- 25th December 2017

After we bid good bye to Norm, we hop back into our car. It was very windy and extra sunny; a weird combination of hot and cold was out there. And having stood there for almost 2 hours now I was a bit tired and wanted to sit and relax for a bit; before the crazy part 2 begins. The tow truck finally arrives and a well built tall person introduces himself as Brent and starts with the paper work. I help him get the car onto the tow truck since the car would not start and was no longer staying in Neutral either, I had to sit in the car and control it till we got it on tow truck. We all hop into the truck, I sit right behind Brent, and we start to Panguitch, which was roughly 20 miles from where our car broke down, we were to stop at an auto station, get the car inspected and then call the roadside assistance. The Tow Truck with our car on it; at Panguitch Auto center When we reach the auto center, it was closed. Brent finds his way in from the back door, and we wait for about 20

After about 10 mins of opening the car hood, I realize that we will need a replacement. So I call the Alamo roadside assistance, and am talking to Dan, explaining him the situation we are in. Meanwhile, a truck pulls in front of us. An old man in his early 70s steps out, and asks "You need help?" He looked at the engine and said "Oh this looks bad. You guys need a ride to city?" And on call Dan tells me that since it's day after holiday, he was skeptical if he could find a tow truck to get there in time, also the nearest rental center was 95 miles away from our location. So he insisted that we find local help, get a tow truck assistance and get to an auto repair station, get the car inspected and then give a call back to them, so they can help us further. Norm hangs around, and gives a local auto center person's number. I call him but, they don't have any tow truck available. Norm looks at the car and says "Back in our days, we could find an

My plans have been shattered more than once; whether it be big life changing plans or trivial lunch, dinner, movie plans. What I have learnt over time, is not to let the failing plans get to me. First I thought I should stop planning, but that's not possible you know. It would take few more years to train my mind to stay in absolute current state. Otherwise for a normal human, it's quite natural to think of what next. For instance, yesterday evening, back from office, I started making tea and when it started boiling, I opened my fridge to find out that I had run out of milk. A younger version of me, would have been mad at myself or my roommates, would have kept a sour face for quite a while. But yesterday, I just took a deep breath, switched off the gas, pulled out a beer from the fridge and went on with my tasks. Life's precious time cannot be wasted on unfruitful anger; I have come to practice that with little effort now. We drove from Vegas to a cabin near Bryce Nat

Couple of weeks back I was hosting a Diwali Celebration Event back in Denver, and I generally tend to keep some funny or interesting filler questions to keep the group engaged while we setup the stage for next game or performance. I went online to find what something new, since I had used up most of my list in last 2 events I had hosted. I found a list of "This or That" kinds and more to do with your personality analysis kinda questions.  One question that kept following me, although I never used those questions in the event, was "What is the biggest mistake of your life?" There were a lot of such interesting self evaluating questions, but this stuck with me. I tried to think and make one event or action as an answer to this question, but I could not. I drew blank. Its been 2 weeks that on and off I have been thinking about this, and finally I have an answer; or atleast I believe it to be so. I started forcing every eventful moment/decision of my life into

दुनिया के किसी कोने में , ज़िन्दगी के किसी मोड़ पे अगर गुज़रेंगे एक दुसरे के करीब से तो क्या मुस्कुरा पाएंगे तुम भी हम भी? क्या आँखों में उन ज़ख्मों की कड़वाहट होगी या होंटो पे खूबसूरत यादों की मुस्कराहट ? क्या माथे पे शिकवों की शिकंज होगी या साँसों में तुम्हारे प्यार की मेहेक ? क्या रूठकर मुँह मोड़ लेंगे एक दुसरे से या दुनिया जहाँ भूलकर सीने से लगा लेंगे ? क्या अजनबियों की तरह नज़रें चुरायेंगे या पुराने दोस्त जैसे हाल चाल पूछेंगे ? बरसों से जस्बात जो दबी है सीने में वो क्या रंग दिखाएंगे नहीं जानते हम  नहीं जानते हम की कैसा होगा वो लम्हा जब अधूरे मुहोब्बत के प्यादे एक दूसरे से टकराएंगे ...  -सरिता  Dated - 5th November 2017

Another fatal incident at Capitol peak forced me to write this piece today dedicated to the mountains, not just as a reminder to whoever is reading it, but primarily to myself; of what mountaineering is really about. Not all connect to nature in the same way. Some connect to oceans, some to the jungles, others to canyons, deserts, valleys, wildlife, stars and so on; some like me connect to Mountains . They are all different elements of nature where one finds solace. One of the major reason for me to stick to Denver for so many years, has been it's mountains. Coming from the coastal part of India, I never got a chance to feel the mountains until Denver. My first year in Denver, I did a fourteener, and that's when I fell in love with mountains.  Since then I have done multiple 14ers, and every time, I return home more humble than before. Every time there is some learning I take back with me. While I am hiking up the mountains I always think why do I stuff my backpack wit

So we had planned to end our trip by Kayaking next to the Aialik Glacier. It was a full day trip with a water taxi ride of 2.5 hrs one way, about 4 hours of Kayaking and then 2 hours back to Seward. We started at 7:30 AM from Seward, and were back at 6:30 PM in the evening. From the shore where we started kayaking Well, I don't know what makes me pick up some of these activities, considering that I don't know swimming, neither have I kayaked ever in my life. So to try this for the first time in an open ocean, was let's put it as Stupid. Hey, but it is me, and most of the times logic does not work well with me. And precisely the reason that my parents hear about it from me only after I get through it safely, to relieve them of the burden of being worried for me the whole time. Anyway, so I was paired with Jacob, a college grad who was alone on this Kayaking tour. My friend and his wife were on another Kayak, and our guide Ryan on

As I walked down the street through the red walled East gate entrance , I stood still at the first glance of the Seventh wonder of the world!  The Taj Mahal! First glance of Taj hidden behind the gates! It was an abrupt trip, completely unplanned for; thanks to a friend who shot this idea my way to take a pit stop at Agra for an evening before I catch my flight to US from Delhi the next day. I just had one evening in Agra, and did not have time to plan anything. View of Taj from the main entrance. Time Check — We reached Agra at 5 PM on a Saturday evening and headed out to buy entry tickets at 5:45 PM; were inside the East gate by 6:15 PM and it was not crowded at all. We saw the interiors of Taj and then sat outside in the veranda watching the sunset. April being the hottest month, the evening was warm but not uncomfortably hot. 7:30 PM we had to leave as it was closing down. The next day morning we got the tickets at 5:45 AM, were in Taj Mahal again around 6

We were driving up North from Denali National Park towards Fairbanks on Aug 21, our next stop to try our luck with some Aurora Borealis. As it is, the drive was very fascinating, with the clouds lying low on the road, and we - driving through the clouds. We saw a pullover spot for scenic view; and when we turned into the parking we saw a biker standing there watching the beautiful overlook with sun setting behind the mountains.  There was something in the way he was standing and gazing out into infinity. His face had a serene content smile. We asked him for how long has he been riding; and his response made my jaw drop. Well, it's quite a common thing in USA, where people run, hike, bike for miles together in the wilderness. But I hadn't met anyone in person who did that, so may be that was also a reason as to why I was so intrigued by him. He introduced himself as Michael from New York. Yeah right, all the way from East to West. As if like that was not enough, he said he

So, we had obviously Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis) on our list in this Alaska Trip. Whether we could see it or not, we weren't sure. Weather, Clouds, it's frequency of occurrence everything played a role. We were just staying hopeful that we could get atleast a glimpse of it; and that was the only reason for us to drive North towards Fairbanks.  Aurora Borealis that night We started at 12:30 in the night, on the remote roads of Fairbanks peeping out of the car's window to see if we can see THE LIGHTS ! And we were testing the slightly doubtful clouds by clicking its picture to see if it was just another passing cloud or was really the hidden aurora. We turned into Old Murphy Crossroad, pulled over the curbside and started clicking the pictures of the sky, and it showed green streaks. Wow.. we were excited and started clicking more pictures at different corner of sky to see more of aurora.  And suddenly I heard quite a heavy toned " Hello " right ove

Innocence is fearless. Innocence is free from consciousness of how it gets perceived. Innocence just acts, reacts at free will.  On the Denali National park bus, there was a 6 year old boy, Matt. While driving in the park, there were couple of folks riding the bike, and the guide made a comment " We call them Meals on the Wheels! " ; we all giggled, smiled for 2 secs ; like we did on most of his jokes; and got back to the normal serious self. After almost a minute or two, this kid started laughing out loud. And he told his mom " Oh.. Now I got the joke. Oh that's so Funny. Hahaha.. Meals on the Wheels!! " and he was laughing his heart out. He was the only one in the bus laughing but that dint stop him from doing so. For a full 8-10 mins, he went on and on , reminding himself of that phrase and laughing. I laughed for 4-5 mins with him just because of the way of his laughter; I couldn't control.  This happened in the morning; but now on the way

I don't think we should continue fighting for equality - whether it's based on gender or class or caste or religion or region. I believe that when people start appreciating real talent outside these boundaries, we will succeed in having a well balanced society.  We don't want the comparison scale for anything to weigh against an attribute whose base itself is questionable. Why should women be treated equal to men? What makes you think that men are treated correctly?  Women or Men should be treated based on their talent, their skill set - the measurable qualities. Rather than setting up against a standard which was set thousands of years ago and whose roots are already rotten.  All this Feminism and Communalism and Racism and Casteism; they just are continuing to prevail for no real reason I feel. It's that mirage that we think is real and attempt to reach; but it keeps distancing itself from us. I don't think we will ever get equality in next 100 years, if th

Love is a very strange emotion, albeit in a nice way. You can never hate your loved ones, no matter how hard you try, no matter what transpired between the two of you, no matter how much the void expands - you will continue to love him or her. No matter how illogical things seem, you still continue to reason in its favor and not against. You are more forgiving; more considerate; more patient than you generally are; when it comes to the loved ones.  Years after the broken heart, when you look back, you will still feel for that emotion somewhere deep within.  You always think and come to believe that you have moved on. But strangely, in this case, you can move on for thousands of miles ahead yet you are never far enough; it's like you are kayaking in the ocean of memories where everything seems still but no one can see the underlying ripples deep within that silent ocean. No blanket is thick enough to cover up the broken pieces of true love; they will continue to shiver and prick

फिर से मन चला खुद को ढूंढ़ने ज़िन्दगी से रिश्ता निभाते निभाते खुद से कोसो दूर हो गया था जो लौट रहा है फिर वो अपने सपनो की गलियो में खुद से कुछ यारियां अब तो निभाने खुद की खुशियों में अब तो शामिल होने बावरा मन फिर से चल पड़ा !! -सरीता dated - 1st August 2017

I am not a movie buff. Except for Avengers, Iron Man, Bourne series - no other movies motivated me to drag myself to a theater and spend 2-3 hours there. But I enjoy watching movies in theaters; once am there.  However, one thing I have come to realize is when am in the theater for some good movies; I literally hate chit-chatting. Muffled talks, munching, paper bags crackling, people walking around -  all these drive me nuts!! Especially POPCORNS !!!! Every time a popcorn crackles in somebodies mouth, the sensors in my ears quadruple the effect in my mind with Dolby digital style. Any fancy Bollywood time pass movies with no story-line; understandable. People come to relax, so yeah, some snacks, some commentaries etc.. I am not against those, and I enjoy them as well. The agenda there is to have fun and relax. But a movie like " Dunkirk " that's based on world war II - It's not a time-pass movie. Imagine you are sitting there watching a scene where the soldiers

It was a normal Saturday today. Me and my roommate had decided to go to a waterfall close by, we got ready and I for some reason thought of getting my hair curled. So, I got my first curls done; and Voila - There I was completely stunned by my look. I just super loved myself and my new look.  End of the day while I write this blog, I am thinking, how important it is to make ourselves realize that we are awesome. I think at times we tend to forget how beautiful we are.  I don't spend a lot of time on makeup/hairdo etc... But today, I was just floored when I looked at myself in the mirror. And that is not a self obsessed goddess speaking, but a simple girl who just spent few minutes on styling her hair. I am a tomboyish girl, just comfortable in one's own skin, doesn't spend a lot of time in front of the mirror. And today when everyone were like "What the heck! Is it you?", I felt like an actress walking on the red carpet, hahahha - it's amazing of what a

I was in the train; on my way from the security to the gate at Denver airport (this weekend being a long weekend, am heading to my friend's place). I just got in the train when an elderly couple entered a bit late pushing away the closing gates.  And you know how these trains yell at you " The doors are closing. Please stand clear of the doors. YOU are delaying the departure of this train!!" . Yeah, they do embarrass the ones who try barging in.  This elderly man in his late 80s (was tall, handsome and wearing a round hat), laughed and replied " Yeah, you see how powerful I am!!" He was standing in front of me (his hand shivering due to old age) and saw me laughing at his joke.  Then he asked " Did your mother give that dimple to you  ?" . Yeah I get a dimple at my right cheek and have a dimpled chin. I smiled and pointing at my chin I said " I know I got this from my dad".   He showed his wife ( a little serious and stern as oppose

This is not the first time when someone told me that they wanted their daughters to be like me when they grew up. I have heard this genuine feedback from quite a few people in my friends circle and relatives. I am not much of an appreciation taker; I have always felt that it's their goodness to see me as someone they can present as role model to their kids.  I know I am not perfect, but I also know who I really am, and I very much love who I am ; no doubt! But when you hear a parent say that they want their child to be like you; that's way more than an appreciation. It's a respect you are given; and I am always humbled when I hear those words. But I never wrote about it before. Then why today this post? All the previous comments were made by Indians belonging to similar culture. Not that it wasn't important or close to my heart; but being from Indian culture I can relate to what are the goods and bads I bring to table; and can weigh in as to why they say what the