Why Be Wary?

Well, a disclaimer

If my amma or sis reads this, they are going to tear me off the face of the globe right this second and pin me to the wall of our home back in my hometown. You will see why. But nevertheless, I had to share this for there are few things I can hardly contain, and this is one such incident.

I have been rucking for over two months now, a 25lbs weight, pace of about 16 mins/mi, about 8 miles every day. Now with summer, some evenings are very pleasant. So I have gotten into the habit of carrying a flask of hot tea in my backpack and books. I have found couple of quiet spots in a park, and I sit there listening to classical music; oh yeah, I have for last 3 months now, gotten into listening to our old classics, Bach, Vivaldi, Listz, Mozart etc...

Anyway, now that you have a snapshot of my routine, here’s what happened today. So it was a pleasant 19degC this evening, so I chose a late evening walk. Reached the park, picked my spot and sat on a stone, settling myself in, around 9 PM. At this time around the park is slightly deserted, although not completely dead. I pulled my flask and mug, poured hot tea, chose to listen to one of Chopin’s Nocturnes on Amazon music, and with my feet dangling off the stone, sat there enjoying the dark sky with a slight tinge of red in the horizon.

After few minutes, I heard someone talking, turned to see a man who was probably on a call, standing at a safe distance from me. I thought he was passing by, turned back to continue my sky gazing. But then I realized he was still standing there in one of the small workout area, and that bothered me.

Then I found myself asking why did he spook me? Is it because of the timing of his presence? Why should I be suspicious of every man after hours? He was just going about his business, why should I think he was out there to harm me? One has to begin trusting somewhere. But staying alone has definitely made me wary of my surroundings. I relaxed my shoulders and told myself that it’s alright. Although, I was pretty alert, till he left my vicinity.

I forced myself to sit there for some more time. You see, I am not scared of the dark or the silence or the spirits or animals. But people, I am very vigilant of them. I know, I know, better safe than sorry. But yet, it’s interesting how I am skeptical of my own species.

Having said that, in just last 3 days, I have had complete strangers walk up to me and ask me about my hiking experience, which was pretty wonderful. So, it goes both ways.

I guess, what I wanted to share was the fact that it disturbed me for being so quick to judge that man. I mean if there was a woman hovering behind me, I wouldn’t have been so guarded. I felt bad for men in general. Maybe they have become a constant subject of distrust what with all types of propaganda flying around in this world.

Anyway, I just had to throw it out there. Now that’s out in the universe, I will sleep peacefully, Good night.

Comments

Ahamasmi Yodha - My First Tattoo

I finally did it. It isn’t a great achievement to show off, but for me it’s one more item on my bucket list getting fulfilled. So I am very happy about it. What did I do? Oh like I said nothing great – I just got my FIRST Tattoo :) My first Tattoo Artist I had done a lot of research on it since last couple of months. I wanted to get it done on my birthday, but it somehow dint work out. For all the first timers, I wanted to list out my personal experience, just in case it helps :) First of all, I felt it will be very helpful if you have some friends who would have got it done already. But I dint have that privilege. So I went through lot of blogs and articles in About.com, Wikihow, YahooAnswers etc… Well Google, the new lord of knowledge :) has all that you need to know. So, in summary, what I got from all these sites were First decide on what you want to get tattooed and where. Go over it again and again, since it is permanent, you will have to live ...

Life... A Blank Page!

Whenever I open a notebook and come across the set of blank pages; my mind goes blank. For some reason, it always reminds me of my life. It forces me to start thinking about my life; about the past and the future. Being part of the age of computers and belonging to the IT industry, I hardly get an opportunity to actually pick a pen and write in the notebook. I write lot of blogs, poems etc… but I write them on the webpage or in Microsoft word in my laptop. Once in a while I like to go back to traditional form of writing; using the actual pen and paper. And in last few years; I noticed that every time I try doing that for some reason the blank paper gets me all philosophical. Although I never have that thought while opening the book; but whenever I see those blank pages; I just go blank. I always feel that my life is staring back at me with all those unanswered silenced questions, doubts, thoughts…forcing me to think – What does my lif...

Zindagi Gulzar Hai - A feast to ones eyes!

Today I am here to make a much interesting comparison of our current Indian TV industry with our neighboring country’s television industry. Interesting because I never thought I would ever engage in watching any of the Pakistan TV series/movies or listening to their music. My disinterest in Pakistan entertainment was not because of the tensed relationship with the country. But I myself am not a big fan of TV serials. The kind of drama that is filled in Indian TV Channels today is just exhausting and tiring to watch. I hardly follow any Indian TV series. When I visit home on vacation, I join my family in watching the program they watch and that’s how I keep myself updated with what is trending in the TV industry. I love listening to music and I listen to all genres of music. I did start listening to Pakistani music since last few years and have admired their music. Strings, Fuzon, Kaavish, Jal, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Ghulam Ali, Parveen Abida, Quratulain Baloch and many ...

Uncovered, Not Exposed

After ages of procrastination, I finally decided to try formal art classes. I had always feared that rules would take the fun out of my art. Art is where I go to unwind and let my mind wander, and the idea of placing boundaries in that safe space never sat well with me. But this year, I signed up for weekend spring classes; telling myself to keep an open mind and take in only what resonated. I was intimidated - I didn't know if this would draw me deeper into art or push me away. To my surprise, it was overwhelming, but in the best possible way. The reason for this post is however not to cover my art journey ( I have just started so I will give it some time to settle in ); but instead to capture my thoughts upon observing a profession in real life that I have only watched on screen - Live nude models. And the quiet power of their bare form. I spent an entire day observing nude male and female body for figure drawing, and it blew my mind in ways I had not expected. ...

Alone & Happy, not Lonely!

There's a difference between the two states of being; being alone & being lonely. I am single and have been alone in new places all by myself; with little or no acquaintances; let alone friends. When you are single, it's a common norm for rest of the world to investigate about your companionship needs. Single people are often surrounded with friends and family that give them company. In my case, I have got used to staying alone as well. And trust me I do just fine. I do miss them but I don't get depressed or frustrated when I don't find the company of my friends or family. So I am single and alone and happy. That said, it's not that I don't have friends or I am not social. I am very social, enjoy parties, hangout with friends when I meet them; I am not an introvert, am more of a happy go lucky kinda person. When I say I am alone, I am in company of myself. And I have realized that I enjoy my company a lot, so I never feel lonely. ...

Solitude Meets Homesickness

I get asked a lot about my experience of staying alone. I stay alone, and hardly attend any social events apart from visiting couple of friends, once in 2-3 months. I reserve all my social energy for when am back home, where I throw myself into meeting all the loved ones I grew up with. And that happens once a year (due to Covid, it's over due by 2 years now). Anyway, my standard answer is although it comes naturally to me, to enjoy my solitude (the very definition is to be alone without feeling lonely) , I have learnt that it's not otherwise easy. And it isn't really something that everyone's personality blends into. My natural state of restlessness, forces me to indulge in numerous activities, keeping myself engaged, intrigued and entertained. And with time, it's become next to impossible to allow someone new to enter my personal space - whether as a roommate or a partner. That doesn't mean I am an introvert. If you meet me in a social gathering, you can easil...

You don’t know me

You don’t know me. And what you know of me is not even half of who I am. It’s not that I am too private. I say what I feel, and although I am on open book, I am just not too easily readable. But tell me, why would you want to know me? Or rather know EVERYTHING about me? We as humans obsess about knowing everything about each other, especially about the ones we love. We want to believe that we KNOW what they think, what they like, who they are etc.. I think it comes to us naturally. But, we don’t. No matter how close we are, there’s a part of us that’s always too private. That cannot be shared. Sometimes we ourselves don’t know who we are. I believe, you should just be happy with the part they share with you, and who they are when they are around you. And remember, who they are when they are with you depends on who you are around them. There’s always a disclaimer- they are a different person when they are with someone else. And they are a different person when t...

तेरा सफ़र , तेरी मंज़िल..

जिस राह पे तू चलता है राही, कभी उसकी मंज़िल को पेहचाना है तूने जहाँ तक तेरी नज़र जाती है, बस वहीँ तक का सफ़र नहीं है तेरा वो जो अनदेखा छिपा है उस मोड़ की आड़ में, उसकी भनक भी नहीं तुझे फिर कैसे तू केहता है " मैं जानता हूँ कहाँ मेरी मंज़िल है" कभी सिर्फ धूप में चला तो कभी शीतल छाओं में कभी दोस्तों के संग मस्ती में तो कभी अकेले अपनी तन्हाई में कभी मेहबूबा की मुहोब्बत में डूबा तो कभी अपने गमों के सागर में पर चाह के भी रुक़ न सका तू, चाह के भी मुड़ न सका तू जिसे तूने मंज़िल समझा वो तो बस एक पड़ाव निकला लाख कोशिश की तूने पर उस पड़ाव पर डेरा ना डाल सका वो सब जो तुझे प्यारे थे पीछे छूट गए , चाह के भी तू उनकी राह पे चल ना सका नए लोगों से नए रिश्तों से बंधता टूटता चला, अपने आपको डून्ड़ता चला तू मुसाफिर है तो ये क्यूँ नहीं मानता की जो राह में तुझे मिले उनका कोई भरोसा नहीं जिस राह पे जिस मौसम में तू चल रहा है वो भी बदल जायेंगे जब तू अपनी मंज़िल पे पहुंचेगा तो पता नहीं किसे संग पायेगा. ...

Compliment Someone, Because, Why Not?

Last week a customer service lady at self-checkout area of Loblaws walked up to me and asked if I was at the store the previous day. I indeed was. I was surprised she remembered me, and was also confused as to why would it matter if I showed up on consecutive days. You know how at times your brain goes a million miles per sec and causes you to question all your life choices? I was running all the reasons in my head as to why someone would care about my grocery schedule. So, it was in that slightly confused state I replied, albeit politely “ Yes, I was here yesterday. The huge watermelon I bought did not allow me to complete my entire grocery checklist as I had reached my single trip haul limit, so I am here again to buy rest of my items ”. Meanwhile, my inner voice was shouting “ Why are you justifying your grocery trip to this random lady? Like who cares? ” Me being me, where my face clear as water always shows what I feel inside; she must have seen that confusion clearly danci...

Radha-Krishan jaisi jodi hai!! But Why?

I was with couple of my friends on a trip earlier this month, when we landed on the topic of Radha while listening to the song “ Radha on the dance floor, Radha wants to party …” from the movie Student of the Year . My friend suddenly told “ Isn’t our culture a little strange? Although Radha and Krishna were never married, every time people see a good couple they say “ RadhaKrishan jaisi Jodi hai! ”(ie. Couple like Radha-Krishna). ” For those who aren’t familiar with Hindu mythology; Radha & Krishna appear in the Dvapara Yuga which is the 3 rd out of four yugas (4 th one being Kali Yuga, the current one that we all are part of). Radha is considered an incarnation of Goddess Lakshmi and Krishna is the Eighth incarnation of Lord Vishnu. Radha and Krishna are most popularly known and worshipped as RadhaKrishna – in one form. Radha is Krishna’s supreme beloved and his childhood friend. Acrylic Painting of Krishna with his Flute - By Me. The Lord and His consort are refe...

When Silence Speaks...

Search This Blog