When Silence Speaks...

Here I stand again at the crossroads I can see him coming I can feel the winds changing When I stitched my heart together I swore never to let it break again But now I want to give him a chance It's a gamble again A bright future with all shades of relationship or a world of pain with broken dreams I stand there asking just one question Will I let him break my heart again? Dedicated to the dilemma of every broken heart trying to find love again! - Dated 22nd April 2018

When people say that Life happens just once, that you live just once, I started thinking- if it’s true? I think of it the other way. Life happens to us multiple times in our lifetime. Life happens when you fall in love. It happens when you breakup too. Life happens when you have a baby; but it happens when you lose your parents or loved ones  too. Life happens when you are on top of your professional and financial life, but it happens when you get completely broke too. To roll up life in one moment would be a really tough decision to make. Because you really cannot. But I do agree that of the gazillion moments of life, there’s just a numbered few where you have really lived life up close to your heart and soul! Life can happen to you more than once; that is a hope for everyone alive which shouldn’t die. Life has happened to me couple of times in its own way; and I look forward to many more such moments! Celebrate Life!! - Sarita Dated - 7th April 2018

What's a smile worth if it doesn't touch one's heart What's a hug worth if it doesn't share one's warmth What's a dance worth if it doesn't entangle two souls What's a kiss worth if it doesn't kindle spark in one's eyes What's a love worth if it doesn't know the art of letting go What's a silence worth if it doesn't hide one's story What's a pain worth if it doesn't teach one endurance What's a fear worth if it doesn't make one stronger than before What's a life worth if one doesn't live it one's own way  - Dated - 19th March 2018

My scars shine in the moon light A stream of pain runs through my veins But my heart no longer cringes They seem like painful marks of past for you But for me, they are beautiful learning of life I am incomplete without my scars They define me, my true strength My real beauty lies in these scars In those numerous smiles driven from their pain They are not meant to be forgotten Neither to be hidden from the world They bring no shame but only pride That I am here today in spite of them They flatter my soul, my ego In the darkest hour of the night They continue to shine bright!!  -Dated - 11th February 2018

I have been thinking lately, if I should invest (I am still not sure if that's the real word, but anyway); my time and energy in dating? I have never officially been in any dating kinda setup. Just that, I have always either had some relationships going on or had that emotional after phase to deal with; which usually used to be the outcome of broken relationships. For most part, I was busy being single and happy. So, I have never spent my time dating randomly or been on any dating sites. Well, on an after thought, my first love was actually an online friend, if that qualifies for online dating. But anyway that was a long time ago.  Reason I  am here today is, I am fed up of all the weird guys that my mom sends as “the probable match” for me; apparently with whom I would spend rest of my life happily. She tries to find folks who have been in USA so that it’s easy for me to say yes. But I find them worse than actual Indians staying in India. One of them asks for a photo o...

This was a trip that I had not planned for. My friends were going to Vegas, and I said I will join them if we do Bryce & Zion national parks as well. They agreed and I flew to Vegas. I did not have time to find out about trails, and with the group I knew we couldn't do a lot of extreme trekking. We stayed in a cabin just 2 miles from the Bryce Canyon National park the previous night. Plan was to see sunrise in Bryce Park. That night we looked up all the available trails, what options were available for us that we could complete in 4 hours. Novajo Trail was our pick.  We were in the park by 6:15 AM, saw sunrise at their sunrise point, the entire canyon lit up slowly with touch of every first ray of sun. It was a beautiful view. You might think all canyons are same but you would be surprised how different they are, unique in their own ways. Bryce Canyon I have seen sunrise and sunset in various Red rock canyons like Arches, Grand Canyon, DeadHorse, Red Rocks, Cany...

Love knows no boundaries. We have heard this and a part of us has seen and does believe this too. I am one of those who never believed in love and today, know quite a lot about the bitter sweet craziness of that thing called love .  But the word romance for me was always related to love between two opposite sex.  Being for so long in USA and exposed to various kinds of culture here; I have seen and lived among gays and lesbians. But I never had any specific view about them - nothing good, nothing bad; just neutral. They were just like any other person I see daily, I never paid any specific attention. But I also never related love or romance to them. Obviously they were in love and in relationship; but I could probably never understand. I never watched any gay/lesbian romantic movies; it never occurred to me. Whenever I selected romantic comedy movies for watching, those movies would never show up in the list, so it never existed for me. I generally get into th...

There is a silence around me in this party I am dancing but my steps keep missing the beats The crowd is happy and so am I But my heart still seems to be stuck somewhere else  The music I hear isn’t the same ringing in my mind The laughters, the happiness it’s all true Yet the voices in my heart seem more real The heat of your breath down my neck Warmth of your hand on my waist The moist of your lips on my cheek It’s the fragrance of you that still lingers fresh You aren’t with me here, anymore But you still have a piece of my heart I still live love and laugh like you never existed But there’s a vacuum that still holds you Like you are still around... Dated- 25th December 2017

After we bid good bye to Norm, we hop back into our car. It was very windy and extra sunny; a weird combination of hot and cold was out there. And having stood there for almost 2 hours now I was a bit tired and wanted to sit and relax for a bit; before the crazy part 2 begins. The tow truck finally arrives and a well built tall person introduces himself as Brent and starts with the paper work. I help him get the car onto the tow truck since the car would not start and was no longer staying in Neutral either, I had to sit in the car and control it till we got it on tow truck. We all hop into the truck, I sit right behind Brent, and we start to Panguitch, which was roughly 20 miles from where our car broke down, we were to stop at an auto station, get the car inspected and then call the roadside assistance. The Tow Truck with our car on it; at Panguitch Auto center When we reach the auto center, it was closed. Brent finds his way in from the back door, and we wait for about 20...

After about 10 mins of opening the car hood, I realize that we will need a replacement. So I call the Alamo roadside assistance, and am talking to Dan, explaining him the situation we are in. Meanwhile, a truck pulls in front of us. An old man in his early 70s steps out, and asks "You need help?" He looked at the engine and said "Oh this looks bad. You guys need a ride to city?" And on call Dan tells me that since it's day after holiday, he was skeptical if he could find a tow truck to get there in time, also the nearest rental center was 95 miles away from our location. So he insisted that we find local help, get a tow truck assistance and get to an auto repair station, get the car inspected and then give a call back to them, so they can help us further. Norm hangs around, and gives a local auto center person's number. I call him but, they don't have any tow truck available. Norm looks at the car and says "Back in our days, we could find an...

My plans have been shattered more than once; whether it be big life changing plans or trivial lunch, dinner, movie plans. What I have learnt over time, is not to let the failing plans get to me. First I thought I should stop planning, but that's not possible you know. It would take few more years to train my mind to stay in absolute current state. Otherwise for a normal human, it's quite natural to think of what next. For instance, yesterday evening, back from office, I started making tea and when it started boiling, I opened my fridge to find out that I had run out of milk. A younger version of me, would have been mad at myself or my roommates, would have kept a sour face for quite a while. But yesterday, I just took a deep breath, switched off the gas, pulled out a beer from the fridge and went on with my tasks. Life's precious time cannot be wasted on unfruitful anger; I have come to practice that with little effort now. We drove from Vegas to a cabin near Bryce Nat...

Couple of weeks back I was hosting a Diwali Celebration Event back in Denver, and I generally tend to keep some funny or interesting filler questions to keep the group engaged while we setup the stage for next game or performance. I went online to find what something new, since I had used up most of my list in last 2 events I had hosted. I found a list of "This or That" kinds and more to do with your personality analysis kinda questions.  One question that kept following me, although I never used those questions in the event, was "What is the biggest mistake of your life?" There were a lot of such interesting self evaluating questions, but this stuck with me. I tried to think and make one event or action as an answer to this question, but I could not. I drew blank. Its been 2 weeks that on and off I have been thinking about this, and finally I have an answer; or atleast I believe it to be so. I started forcing every eventful moment/decision of my life into ...