I have been thinking lately, if I should invest (I am still not sure if that's the real word, but anyway); my time and energy in dating?
I have never officially been in any dating kinda setup. Just that, I have always either had some relationships going on or had that emotional after phase to deal with; which usually used to be the outcome of broken relationships. For most part, I was busy being single and happy. So, I have never spent my time dating randomly or been on any dating sites. Well, on an after thought, my first love was actually an online friend, if that qualifies for online dating. But anyway that was a long time ago.
Reason I am here today is, I am fed up of all the weird guys that my mom sends as “the probable match” for me; apparently with whom I would spend rest of my life happily. She tries to find folks who have been in USA so that it’s easy for me to say yes. But I find them worse than actual Indians staying in India. One of them asks for a photo of mine in a traditional wear or saree. And I am like; I haven't worn saree more than twice or thrice in USA in last 10 years, why would you want to see me in a saree? How would that even matter? Then someone asks if I know cooking. and someone asks if I can quit job and stay home. They are just all over the place. And in the process, they just hardened my resolute to stay away from marriage.
So I was just wondering why don’t I start dating.
This thought has been looming over me for past couple of days now; when I had started writing this blog; which was when I kept asking myself, should I date or not. But now, I don't think I will waste my time, dating.
I am not the kind of person who goes in search of relations; I do well building relations with people I meet along the way of life. I might just start hanging out more with like minded folks sharing similar interests; which I have been doing all these years. I got carried away a bit, giving into the pressure from my family; but then I just started searching internet for articles on people's experience tackling this "being single" status and this one particularly made absolute sense to me.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/01/being-single-happiness-women_n_5007469.html
The author has pretty much summed up all the aspects that I have been battling in my mind; and has put my doubts to rest. It's true what Dr. Bella DePaulo said "What people sometimes overlook when they say ‘If you’re single, you’re alone’ is the possibility that if you’re single, you may have friendships that you pay a lot of attention to. In fact, you might have more support than someone who gets married and only pays attention to their spouse and puts all of their friends on the back burner.”
And looks like I am not the only one who finds it hard to convince the world that I am doing just fine being single. Seriously, at this point in time, I am single, and I am doing just perfectly fine. I am happy. I have got my career, my hobbies, my dreams, my friends, my family - everything for me to enjoy my life. For a few minutes, I got carried away, letting the societal pressure get to me, and had started going down the pity myself lane with them for not finding a right life partner. But now I have got my senses back to normal.
Honestly, I am not blocking away romance or relationships from my life. I just cannot go hunting for them. If I come across someone who's right for me, I will surely open my heart to him; but I am not going to time box it. I have been in love; have loved like there was no tomorrow, so really I don't have any fear that I am going to die without knowing how love feels like. Which means, I am in no hurry to marry; marriage does not hold any value to me without having the right person to share it with. I can just let my life be the way it is right now; which by the way is rocking.
So yeah, verdict is No, am not going to waste time on dating. And, here goes my life again, on it's roller coaster ride, being single and happy.
Oh well, I am smiling while I am finishing up this blog, listening to music I love, and glad that I am improving at not letting the world get to me. Am happy that am myself. Cheers!
Dated - 14th January 2018
Reason I am here today is, I am fed up of all the weird guys that my mom sends as “the probable match” for me; apparently with whom I would spend rest of my life happily. She tries to find folks who have been in USA so that it’s easy for me to say yes. But I find them worse than actual Indians staying in India. One of them asks for a photo of mine in a traditional wear or saree. And I am like; I haven't worn saree more than twice or thrice in USA in last 10 years, why would you want to see me in a saree? How would that even matter? Then someone asks if I know cooking. and someone asks if I can quit job and stay home. They are just all over the place. And in the process, they just hardened my resolute to stay away from marriage.
So I was just wondering why don’t I start dating.
This thought has been looming over me for past couple of days now; when I had started writing this blog; which was when I kept asking myself, should I date or not. But now, I don't think I will waste my time, dating.
I am not the kind of person who goes in search of relations; I do well building relations with people I meet along the way of life. I might just start hanging out more with like minded folks sharing similar interests; which I have been doing all these years. I got carried away a bit, giving into the pressure from my family; but then I just started searching internet for articles on people's experience tackling this "being single" status and this one particularly made absolute sense to me.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/01/being-single-happiness-women_n_5007469.html
The author has pretty much summed up all the aspects that I have been battling in my mind; and has put my doubts to rest. It's true what Dr. Bella DePaulo said "What people sometimes overlook when they say ‘If you’re single, you’re alone’ is the possibility that if you’re single, you may have friendships that you pay a lot of attention to. In fact, you might have more support than someone who gets married and only pays attention to their spouse and puts all of their friends on the back burner.”
And looks like I am not the only one who finds it hard to convince the world that I am doing just fine being single. Seriously, at this point in time, I am single, and I am doing just perfectly fine. I am happy. I have got my career, my hobbies, my dreams, my friends, my family - everything for me to enjoy my life. For a few minutes, I got carried away, letting the societal pressure get to me, and had started going down the pity myself lane with them for not finding a right life partner. But now I have got my senses back to normal.
Honestly, I am not blocking away romance or relationships from my life. I just cannot go hunting for them. If I come across someone who's right for me, I will surely open my heart to him; but I am not going to time box it. I have been in love; have loved like there was no tomorrow, so really I don't have any fear that I am going to die without knowing how love feels like. Which means, I am in no hurry to marry; marriage does not hold any value to me without having the right person to share it with. I can just let my life be the way it is right now; which by the way is rocking.
So yeah, verdict is No, am not going to waste time on dating. And, here goes my life again, on it's roller coaster ride, being single and happy.
Oh well, I am smiling while I am finishing up this blog, listening to music I love, and glad that I am improving at not letting the world get to me. Am happy that am myself. Cheers!
Dated - 14th January 2018
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