Whenever I open a notebook and come across the set of blank
pages; my mind goes blank. For some reason, it always reminds me of my life. It
forces me to start thinking about my life; about the past and the future.
Being part of the age of computers and belonging to the IT
industry, I hardly get an opportunity to actually pick a pen and write in the notebook.
I write lot of blogs, poems etc… but I write them on the webpage or in Microsoft
word in my laptop. Once in a while I like
to go back to traditional form of writing; using the actual pen and paper. And in
last few years; I noticed that every time I try doing that for some reason the
blank paper gets me all philosophical.
Although I never have that thought while opening the book; but whenever I see those blank pages; I just go blank. I always feel that my life is staring back at me with all those unanswered silenced questions, doubts, thoughts…forcing me to think – What does my life look like? What if I hadn’t made the choices I made in my past? What if I chose the other path in all those decision making points in my life’s flowchart? Where would I be and how would my life look like? My mind is flooded with thoughts reviewing all those “If..Else” clauses of my life.
Although I never have that thought while opening the book; but whenever I see those blank pages; I just go blank. I always feel that my life is staring back at me with all those unanswered silenced questions, doubts, thoughts…forcing me to think – What does my life look like? What if I hadn’t made the choices I made in my past? What if I chose the other path in all those decision making points in my life’s flowchart? Where would I be and how would my life look like? My mind is flooded with thoughts reviewing all those “If..Else” clauses of my life.
It's not like I regret what I am today. I am happy the way I
am and I could not be more content with my life than I am today. It’s just that
I don’t understand why do the blank pages always trigger these thoughts? May be
its like life; Blank. You really don’t know what’s going to happen next. Whenever
you think you know exactly what to fill in those pages; Life changes.
I remember a friend of mine sharing one of his experience;
where he thought he will write a poem about Life and pulled out a page; wrote
the title “Life” but could not fill it in. He just left it blank and said that’s
his poem on Life.
I think it’s true; I feel a blank page does depict life
in motion; just like void doesn't mean there’s nothing in there; it just means
there’s so much that cannot be contained in that space.
-Sarita
(15th March 2014)
Ya very true
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