Life... A Blank Page!

Whenever I open a notebook and come across the set of blank pages; my mind goes blank. For some reason, it always reminds me of my life. It forces me to start thinking about my life; about the past and the future.

Being part of the age of computers and belonging to the IT industry, I hardly get an opportunity to actually pick a pen and write in the notebook. I write lot of blogs, poems etc… but I write them on the webpage or in Microsoft word in my laptop. Once in a while I like to go back to traditional form of writing; using the actual pen and paper. And in last few years; I noticed that every time I try doing that for some reason the blank paper gets me all philosophical.

Although I never have that thought while opening the book; but whenever I see those blank pages; I just go blank. I always feel that my life is staring back at me with all those unanswered silenced questions, doubts, thoughts…forcing me to think – What does my life look like? What if I hadn’t made the choices I made in my past? What if I chose the other path in all those decision making points in my life’s flowchart? Where would I be and how would my life look like? My mind is flooded with thoughts reviewing all those “If..Else” clauses of my life.

It's not like I regret what I am today. I am happy the way I am and I could not be more content with my life than I am today. It’s just that I don’t understand why do the blank pages always trigger these thoughts? May be its like life; Blank. You really don’t know what’s going to happen next. Whenever you think you know exactly what to fill in those pages; Life changes.

I remember a friend of mine sharing one of his experience; where he thought he will write a poem about Life and pulled out a page; wrote the title “Life” but could not fill it in. He just left it blank and said that’s his poem on Life.

I think it’s true; I feel a blank page does depict life in motion; just like void doesn't mean there’s nothing in there; it just means there’s so much that cannot be contained in that space.

-Sarita

(15th March 2014)

Comments

SahanaJuly 29, 2014 at 9:56 PM
Ya very true
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

When Life Humbles You

When you are planning life, life makes it's own plans and often takes you by surprise. Not that you grow arrogant knowingly, but we all tend to take life for granted while on our mission to success. There are often times when we oversee simpler yet most important ingredients of life. I believe that's when someone takes control of life to put a brake and slow you down. It has various innovative ways to slow you down. Nothing uncommon in the world, but definitely very new to you. I have always been slowed down by life, ever time I rushed through doing tens of thousands of things. Now looking back, I think once every 2-3 years, I am pulled over the freeway of life for speeding. This time it was my health. I have been an anti doctor anti hospital person despite of coming from family of doctors. I believe in home remedies. Steam will take care of my cold; drink some herbs for immunity, tolerate pain without painkillers, go to gym or running when you have headache so on and

Zindagi Gulzar Hai - A feast to ones eyes!

Today I am here to make a much interesting comparison of our current Indian TV industry with our neighboring country’s television industry. Interesting because I never thought I would ever engage in watching any of the Pakistan TV series/movies or listening to their music. My disinterest in Pakistan entertainment was not because of the tensed relationship with the country. But I myself am not a big fan of TV serials. The kind of drama that is filled in Indian TV Channels today is just exhausting and tiring to watch. I hardly follow any Indian TV series. When I visit home on vacation, I join my family in watching the program they watch and that’s how I keep myself updated with what is trending in the TV industry. I love listening to music and I listen to all genres of music. I did start listening to Pakistani music since last few years and have admired their music. Strings, Fuzon, Kaavish, Jal, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Ghulam Ali, Parveen Abida, Quratulain Baloch and many more

Ahamasmi Yodha - My First Tattoo

I finally did it. It isn’t a great achievement to show off, but for me it’s one more item on my bucket list getting fulfilled. So I am very happy about it. What did I do? Oh like I said nothing great – I just got my FIRST Tattoo :) My first Tattoo Artist I had done a lot of research on it since last couple of months. I wanted to get it done on my birthday, but it somehow dint work out. For all the first timers, I wanted to list out my personal experience, just in case it helps :) First of all, I felt it will be very helpful if you have some friends who would have got it done already. But I dint have that privilege. So I went through lot of blogs and articles in About.com, Wikihow, YahooAnswers etc… Well Google, the new lord of knowledge :) has all that you need to know. So, in summary, what I got from all these sites were First decide on what you want to get tattooed and where. Go over it again and again, since it is permanent, you will have to live with it your e

Where art thou? Thy trail is waiting!

Been a while. And am growing restless day by day. For once, am missing that one companion, one person in my life; whom I could drag into my craziness happily. I just need that one friend who shares my interest in hiking - badly need a hiking partner. I have been sketching so many plans in my head, scrounging blogs by through hikers around the world. It’s not a one day or one week hike. I have been itching to do a through hike - GHT, PCT, AT, GPT, CDT, Tokai, Wales coast path, Sentiero Italia etc.. etc.. Thousands of miles that will take months on trail in wilderness. There are folks hiking for years at a stretch - (check out Bethany Hughes and Lauren Reed at Her-Odyssey covering America to America 20000 miles in 5 years, starting 2015 - still going strong) - I badly want to do something like that. But I can’t think of doing any of those alone. At times I feel I will make friends along the way, will meet people as I hike, so I should be fine. But I enjoy company of people as mu

Don't let the tamed ones tell you how to LIVE!

I came across this image on someone’s Facebook wall; and I couldn’t resist it. It triggered various thoughts in me that I was compelled to write a blog. I spent major part of my last decade trying to get things settled in; to plan for a backup with a backup so I could do something seriously adventurous. But it was not until late last year that I realized I should no longer wait for a timeline to stabilize professionally, financially, personally to pursue my interests. I don't need to follow a linear approach. I don't think I can ever have enough savings to quit the job and pursue hiking/travelling/painting full time (and well, I am not a lottery person either). And I don't think I want to quit the job in the first place, I want to continue supporting my needs. One thing that I did, last few years was try and pursue my interest whenever I got a chance. But what I started doing since last 6 months is, to create those opportunities to pursue my interests; and align

Then & Now Series - Musing#1: Feminism

What do you think of, when you hear this word? Irrespective of your sex, reflect on your thoughts for a couple of minutes. Now, ask an elder in your family the same question, and evaluate their opinion. Growing up, my dad would say this often to my sister and I; ” I might not leave a fortune behind, but I would like to impart highest level of education in you, which will enable you to make informed decisions or choices in life. ” And true to his words, he enabled both his daughters to be successful productive members of the society. One an engineer and another a doctor, both working professionals. Granted, my mom is the most independent woman I have seen in my life, however, far as education she had her reservations. She definitely wanted both of us to be fairly educated, but she, like rest of the society, saw education as a means to an end - which was - a suitable prospect for marriage . So, naturally daughters getting higher degrees would be challenging the hierarchy and shortening

Then & Now Series - Musing#2: Hard-Work(or Smart-work)

“ We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ” - Aristotle “If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all.” - Michelangelo Buonarroti . Ancient gurus always attributed a great deal of importance to hard-work. Although it has constantly been deemed as out of fashion in 21st century, every successful person out there even today pays homage to hard-work. (And before we get too deep into this, let me clarify, when I say hard-work, I also mean smart-work. In my world, it’s one and the same, has always been the same. Basically, accomplish a task in the best way possible. Smart-work does not advertise dishonesty or using shortcuts that impact quality. Some over zealous pundit in the 1930s wanted to make an impression and created this difference between the two, making hard-work look like a negative trait. To spell it out, if you are genuine at your work, you are putting your heart and mind into that

Why "Wake Up Sid" movie is my favorite :)

I am very selective about the Bollywood movies that I choose to watch. I don’t like the typical commercial, masaledar movies without any storyline, characters, screenplay and acting. Most of them are ruled out just by looking at the Name of the movie, its banner, its actors and director. And some which pass these filter criteria get eliminated when I watch their trailers. Very few end up in my watch list. And some movies I end up watching forcibly with my family or friends. Wake up Sid was one such movie, that I came across because my friends chose to watch that movie over tea 4 yrs back. We never completed watching that movie; couple of them found it boring and we got deviated from watching the movie into some other matargashti . I think 2 years back, when I was finding something to watch, I picked up this movie – just because I wasn’t finding anything appealing to watch. And I simply fell in love with this movie despite of its weak story. Konkana Sen is a talented actress

I was young and stupid!

"So, tell me. What's your learning from life? What is that one thing you absolutely loved doing or you regret not doing? That one thing if you have to call it out, that one thing keeps coming back at you." I asked looking at him. Desmund said "Oh yeah absolutely, I regret not being a pilot." driving past the signal. Desmund was a Jamaican in his late sixties who has lived in Ontario for over 30 years now, who worked in hospital then worked as realtor and now works in an auto care, where I met him last week after I dropped my Jeep for servicing. He was handling my pickup and drop off. I said " Okay. Why dint you do it, what stopped you, money, family etc..?" He - " Oh, I was just young and stupid. Very egoistic back then. I was 19, was in London. I wanted to join RAF, but I was trying a back door route. They said you can work as a steward for a year, and then you can train for a pilot. It was still part of Royal airforce you know. But I wa

When I Fell.

I heard a small crack. Something had snapped. I felt a piercing pain. I fell. Picked up by the mild breeze, I flew. Detached from the tree that I had known all my life, I floated. It happened so fast that I dint know how to feel. I felt anxious for being out there in the unknown alone. But I also felt free and exhilarated to see the world beyond my imagination. Was this end of my life? Or a beginning of something I never knew existed? Is this what heaven feels like? I had glistened with dew in the cold mornings, rustled in mild summer evenings and drenched in the stormy nights, all my life. I had clinged to my branch, and the tree had held me tight. I was happy. But if that was happiness, then what was this feeling? I flew past the waterfall, the mild rumbling of which I had heard all my life, not knowing where it was coming from. The woods, the trees, those flowers, the azure sky, the river.....in just these few seconds I have seen so much. I loved it. I land on a wooden bench, someo

When Silence Speaks...

Search This Blog