Compliment Someone, Because, Why Not?

Last week a customer service lady at self-checkout area of Loblaws walked up to me and asked if I was at the store the previous day. I indeed was. 

I was surprised she remembered me, and was also confused as to why would it matter if I showed up on consecutive days. You know how at times your brain goes a million miles per sec and causes you to question all your life choices? I was running all the reasons in my head as to why someone would care about my grocery schedule. So, it was in that slightly confused state I replied, albeit politely “Yes, I was here yesterday. The huge watermelon I bought did not allow me to complete my entire grocery checklist as I had reached my single trip haul limit, so I am here again to buy rest of my items”. Meanwhile, my inner voice was shouting “Why are you justifying your grocery trip to this random lady? Like who cares?”

Me being me, where my face clear as water always shows what I feel inside; she must have seen that confusion clearly dancing on my face.

She instead seemed relieved and laughingly said, “I was watching you and thought maybe she isn’t the same person because you looked so serious just now, and I remember you from yesterday because of your smile. I was like this person is not smiling, but she does look alike, so I thought to ask directly. I am glad I wasn’t losing my mind. Keep that smile on your face, you have such a beautiful smile.“ 

I relaxed and did give her my 440 volt smile then, saying “Thank you, for remembering my smile and for the compliment.” 

She replied “No, I am not kidding, you indeed have a charming and heart warming smile. Keep smiling, it suits you.” She spoke for couple of minutes on similar lines , but the gist was, my smile. And she sounded so genuine, I had no choice but to melt at her words. 

I did smile then, to myself on my entire drive back home, creepy as hell, but who cares.

Granted you might argue it’s her job, I did too, but even so, she did not have to do that when I did not ask for her assistance. I go through self checkout lanes to avoid random conversations, where customer service reps need not be chatty with customers unless they are bid to. Whatever may be the reasons, let’s just say I know to differentiate a genuine compliment from a courtesy-sake one.

I have been complimented by random strangers on my smile more often than once. I recall in Denver Colorado, on my train ride between airport terminals, an elderly couple had said “Looks like you have been kissed by an angel there. That dimpled smile is gorgeous, keep it on.” Tell me how can you not beam at that.

Honestly, I don’t think my smile is any special. But I do agree, that my smile lights up my whole face, and is one of the most comfortable expression I can don. It’s also one of the reasons that I can never get clicked in pictures with any expression other than a wide grin.

Case in point is these compliments are delivered at such unexpected times, that it not only takes you by surprise but also recalibrates your mood. What I realized then were two things. 

One, we don’t give enough credit to our strengths or positive characteristics; mind, body or soul. 

Two, we don’t compliment others enough. 

Usually, we take our friends and family for granted, or rather are too casual to compliment. It’s more like, well we all know her smile is lovely, have been seeing that smile for years now, she knows it too, so what’s new, or what’s the point of telling what she already knows?

And when it comes to strangers, we or at least I at times am too cautious so as to not rub them off the wrong way, I think of how best to articulate it, and let my brain compute all the scenarios. By that time either the moment has already passed or my nerves give up. The whole process is sometimes so stressful that I don’t voice my thoughts out loud at all. I just end up telling myself, “oh yeah, she has such a beautiful smile, hope she always wears that smile.”

Although for strangers, I do go with the vibe sometimes; some emit the warmth and you know you will be received well; and some seem cold or cagey, so you just channel all those thoughts internally. But what I have also noticed is that no one resists compliments, even the coldest of cold ones will be touched by the warmth a genuine compliment brings with it. 

This lady reminded me of what my smile means to me and to others. And also, how to make an effort to express genuine care to people around you. You might brighten someone’s seemingly dull day, just with few words. 

Words, such a powerful thing to wield, as long as you do it right.