Have you ever noticed - anything that is free is actually the most expensive thing in this world. We don't realize it at that moment, but in the hindsight we always are reminded of how expensive that deal was.
Whether it be things you need for survival like air, water, nature (well, most of them have already joined the paid league; and are getting expensive, but they aren't our topic of discussion today).
Or things others do for you notoriously know as 'HELP'.
I shy away from getting anything for free from friends or family. For simple reason, that I don't like the burden it puts on me. Taking help from strangers is the best, because you are not tied to anything other than that moment of help. Last few years, I have trained myself in a way that it has become second in my nature not to ask help. It's not a good sign, everyone needs help, one cannot do it all. But every single independent person has this issue; we do so much ourselves, that we forget we can ask for help.
And why are we discussing help? Because that's another apparently free thing in this world. However, what you don't realize is this 'HELP' feeds on your need and eventually gives the person helping - a leverage on you, which they can play however they want.
So, year 2017 , I was travelling around USA for work so much that I hardly stayed in my apartment in Denver, the one which I paid $1600 rent every month. So I decided to move out my belongings to a storage unit, pay just $50 per month if needed; and stay in hotel or friends place when am in Denver once a month. One of my friend (let's say John Doe) who owns a home in Denver, started insisting that I leave the items in his basement, he would have no issues. I kindly denied, but he was persistent. It was a funny conversation. For me, paying $50 a month was a better option because I did not have to worry about it anymore. But he made it sound like I was keen on draining my money, he had unused space and he was very very persuasive of using the basement, to an extent he was resorting to emotional atyachaar. Well, I gave in. Moved my stuffs to his basement.
And may be a month or two later the drama began. My other friend started reminding me that I am supposed to call John Doe, once in a while, stay in touch with him more frequently, now that he has been kind enough to house my stuffs. But here's my weakness, I don't call anyone if I really don't feel like. It's for a discussion another time, but my long distance relationship skill is next to 0, let's put it that way. So, I obviously don't call him. Apparently, John Doe was offended that I wasn't being a nice friend. He was feeling used by me. That he was helping me by letting me keep my stuffs at his place, and I was apparently misusing the privilege. I couldn't help but laugh. I still did not call him. And 3 or 4 months later he texted saying, 'can you move your stuff out since I need the space now.' And, I happily moved it to the storage.
Long story short, I did what I should have done right in the beginning.
He helped when I did not want help. And in return he wanted me to be grateful, which obviously I wasn't. I wasn't going to flatter his ego, for something I did not want in the first place. You can think it's rude, but I think it's being honest. He is a nice chap, no doubt, and I have been thankful when he and others have helped in other occasions. Just that in this case, nope, I don't feel entitled to be thankful :) That's when one of my friend after hearing my account commented "Free is the most expensive thing".
This post was long due, but what triggered me to complete it today was a forward that I saw somewhere (Facebook, Whatsapp - I don't remember); it goes like this.
Took me over a year to come back and write this, but it's a good reminder for me, on how human psychology works in these situations.
Help - is a beautiful thing when done without any expectations - materialistic or non-materialistic. Most of the time people who help play on the emotions. Even when the need is fulfilled, sometimes people remind you of that help, to flatter their ego. I have just 2-3 people in my life whom I can let do things for me, whom I can let help me. Everyone else, I kindly deny.
True words - When anything is free, your freedom is the price. So trade carefully.
Whether it be things you need for survival like air, water, nature (well, most of them have already joined the paid league; and are getting expensive, but they aren't our topic of discussion today).
Or things others do for you notoriously know as 'HELP'.
I shy away from getting anything for free from friends or family. For simple reason, that I don't like the burden it puts on me. Taking help from strangers is the best, because you are not tied to anything other than that moment of help. Last few years, I have trained myself in a way that it has become second in my nature not to ask help. It's not a good sign, everyone needs help, one cannot do it all. But every single independent person has this issue; we do so much ourselves, that we forget we can ask for help.
And why are we discussing help? Because that's another apparently free thing in this world. However, what you don't realize is this 'HELP' feeds on your need and eventually gives the person helping - a leverage on you, which they can play however they want.
So, year 2017 , I was travelling around USA for work so much that I hardly stayed in my apartment in Denver, the one which I paid $1600 rent every month. So I decided to move out my belongings to a storage unit, pay just $50 per month if needed; and stay in hotel or friends place when am in Denver once a month. One of my friend (let's say John Doe) who owns a home in Denver, started insisting that I leave the items in his basement, he would have no issues. I kindly denied, but he was persistent. It was a funny conversation. For me, paying $50 a month was a better option because I did not have to worry about it anymore. But he made it sound like I was keen on draining my money, he had unused space and he was very very persuasive of using the basement, to an extent he was resorting to emotional atyachaar. Well, I gave in. Moved my stuffs to his basement.
And may be a month or two later the drama began. My other friend started reminding me that I am supposed to call John Doe, once in a while, stay in touch with him more frequently, now that he has been kind enough to house my stuffs. But here's my weakness, I don't call anyone if I really don't feel like. It's for a discussion another time, but my long distance relationship skill is next to 0, let's put it that way. So, I obviously don't call him. Apparently, John Doe was offended that I wasn't being a nice friend. He was feeling used by me. That he was helping me by letting me keep my stuffs at his place, and I was apparently misusing the privilege. I couldn't help but laugh. I still did not call him. And 3 or 4 months later he texted saying, 'can you move your stuff out since I need the space now.' And, I happily moved it to the storage.
Long story short, I did what I should have done right in the beginning.
He helped when I did not want help. And in return he wanted me to be grateful, which obviously I wasn't. I wasn't going to flatter his ego, for something I did not want in the first place. You can think it's rude, but I think it's being honest. He is a nice chap, no doubt, and I have been thankful when he and others have helped in other occasions. Just that in this case, nope, I don't feel entitled to be thankful :) That's when one of my friend after hearing my account commented "Free is the most expensive thing".
This post was long due, but what triggered me to complete it today was a forward that I saw somewhere (Facebook, Whatsapp - I don't remember); it goes like this.
Took me over a year to come back and write this, but it's a good reminder for me, on how human psychology works in these situations.
Help - is a beautiful thing when done without any expectations - materialistic or non-materialistic. Most of the time people who help play on the emotions. Even when the need is fulfilled, sometimes people remind you of that help, to flatter their ego. I have just 2-3 people in my life whom I can let do things for me, whom I can let help me. Everyone else, I kindly deny.
True words - When anything is free, your freedom is the price. So trade carefully.
True
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