My Zero maintenance relations! Thank you guys for being best ones ever!

Over time I have come to realize not all relations stand the test of time. Not all friends no matter how dear they were to you at some point, will stay that way forever. Not all can accept you the way you are with your shortcomings and still love you the same. As in, not all relations evolve to be with zero expectations and non judgmental. Just take a look at your social website - Facebook or Insta or whatever else that you use; see how many folks are listed out there. Thousands of people you have met throughout the years, with whom you have spent some great time, but today are just no better than strangers.

My immediate family, my parents and my sister, who needless to say come with just one major expectation of me being happy their way; other than that - they love me unconditionally; for who I am. Other than them, it’s hard to believe that I still have a handful of friends who I can say will stay with me for years to come. Some of whom I know for 14 years now and some for just 4 years.

And the main reason they have that special place in my heart is because they are true and are zero maintenance. I don’t need to call them every weekend. I don’t need to apologize for forgetting their birthdays or anniversaries. I don’t need to provide justification for what I did or did not do; for what I said and did not mean etc.. etc.. They are all long distance relations. They are all busy with their life as I am with mine. But when we text or call sometimes after almost 5-6 months, there are no complaints. We are just happy to hear each other’s voice, we just start talking like we used to years before, it’s just so refreshing.

I remember envying my friends for having childhood friends like since grade 1 and I dint have anyone like that. I would wonder if only I had one such friend, other than my sister. It’s so wonderful to have such friends who have seen you at your worst, other than your family, who are there for you just a call away. Some of whom I haven’t met since years now, but I can feel that they are also eagerly waiting for that day when we meet again just like I am.

Their views don’t match with mine. They don’t approve of everything I do. But they know I don’t need their approval either. They know me for who I am and they just love me for that. We respect each other a lot, and we know that when it really matters, we will be there for one another.

To know if your friends are real, just wait out on them. Time will do it’s magic and filter out the ones who are meant for you and ones who aren’t. Doesn’t mean they weren’t your true friends or don’t have your best interests in heart. Some just faded in time, whom you never felt like reaching out - neither in happiness nor in distress; so they really don't matter to you anymore. And some, just had expectations that maybe you as a person couldn’t fulfill. Those are the ones I call high maintenance relations. I would like such people to phase out rather than breed bitterness in heart. Not that I don’t want to put in the effort to keep them, but the grounds on which they are kept should not be based on frequent apologies for who you are.

For instance, I don’t call or text people frequently. That’s who I am. Not that I don’t remember them or love them enough; I just don’t do it. And my zero maintenance friends, have figured that out about me and have no issues with it. It’s no longer about anyone’s ego. It’s no longer a question of commitment. It’s no longer about priorities or value of the relation. It’s just another shortcoming of me, that they know and accept. There’s no longer any fear of losing one another. It’s just a simple equation where a smile pops on both the faces on hearing or seeing each other - doesn't matter who called first.

They don’t cringe taking the first step to text or call me after 6 months, and neither do I; just asking “hey what’s up?” It’s amazing to have such easy friends and I just realized I haven’t thanked them lately.

So yeah, my darlings - Deepu, Smi, Sabi, Hooda, Chiru, Sudz, Nammi, Karthik, Tiwari, Deen, Dacchu and 4 year old angel Chittu- I love you guys! I love you for being with me forever! I love you for putting up with my wonderfulness as well as craziness. I love you for just letting me be me. I love you for treating me like an angel at times and as a Satan at other. I love you for being non judgmental. I love you guys for loving me. I love you for being around the corner always. I love you for always putting a smile on my face.

I believe in living life unapologetically, so obviously my best friends are picked wisely. And like they say it's hard to train a new best friend, so I plan on keeping you guys around forever :)

Comments

Zindagi Gulzar Hai - A feast to ones eyes!

Today I am here to make a much interesting comparison of our current Indian TV industry with our neighboring country’s television industry. Interesting because I never thought I would ever engage in watching any of the Pakistan TV series/movies or listening to their music. My disinterest in Pakistan entertainment was not because of the tensed relationship with the country. But I myself am not a big fan of TV serials. The kind of drama that is filled in Indian TV Channels today is just exhausting and tiring to watch. I hardly follow any Indian TV series. When I visit home on vacation, I join my family in watching the program they watch and that’s how I keep myself updated with what is trending in the TV industry. I love listening to music and I listen to all genres of music. I did start listening to Pakistani music since last few years and have admired their music. Strings, Fuzon, Kaavish, Jal, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Ghulam Ali, Parveen Abida, Quratulain Baloch and many ...

My Favorite Read - 6 - The Climb by Anatoli Boukreev (and Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer)

So, now that I want to get into some serious mountaineering activities, I started with reading books on mountains. When you check for top few books on mountains the one that comes up is " Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer " followed by “ The Climb by Anatoli Boukreev" ; both based on the 1996 Everest disaster which was made quite controversial. I started with "Into Thin Air' and while I was reading, I was continuously in conflict with Jon's views. Mind you, my memory is pretty weak when it comes to remembering details of any story - whether its books or movies. I had watched few documentaries and the Everest movie based on this topic; but that was a while ago. when I started reading this book 2 weeks back, I had no background; you can say I was totally new to this story. And yet, it was difficult for me to understand some of Jon's accusations or feelings. But nevertheless, Jon's style of writing was amazing; he knew how to keep reader's...

Ahamasmi Yodha - My First Tattoo

I finally did it. It isn’t a great achievement to show off, but for me it’s one more item on my bucket list getting fulfilled. So I am very happy about it. What did I do? Oh like I said nothing great – I just got my FIRST Tattoo :) My first Tattoo Artist I had done a lot of research on it since last couple of months. I wanted to get it done on my birthday, but it somehow dint work out. For all the first timers, I wanted to list out my personal experience, just in case it helps :) First of all, I felt it will be very helpful if you have some friends who would have got it done already. But I dint have that privilege. So I went through lot of blogs and articles in About.com, Wikihow, YahooAnswers etc… Well Google, the new lord of knowledge :) has all that you need to know. So, in summary, what I got from all these sites were First decide on what you want to get tattooed and where. Go over it again and again, since it is permanent, you will have to live ...

Uncovered, Not Exposed

After ages of procrastination, I finally decided to try formal art classes. I had always feared that rules would take the fun out of my art. Art is where I go to unwind and let my mind wander, and the idea of placing boundaries in that safe space never sat well with me. But this year, I signed up for weekend spring classes; telling myself to keep an open mind and take in only what resonated. I was intimidated - I didn't know if this would draw me deeper into art or push me away. To my surprise, it was overwhelming, but in the best possible way. The reason for this post is however not to cover my art journey ( I have just started so I will give it some time to settle in ); but instead to capture my thoughts upon observing a profession in real life that I have only watched on screen - Live nude models. And the quiet power of their bare form. I spent an entire day observing nude male and female body for figure drawing, and it blew my mind in ways I had not expected. ...

Life... A Blank Page!

Whenever I open a notebook and come across the set of blank pages; my mind goes blank. For some reason, it always reminds me of my life. It forces me to start thinking about my life; about the past and the future. Being part of the age of computers and belonging to the IT industry, I hardly get an opportunity to actually pick a pen and write in the notebook. I write lot of blogs, poems etc… but I write them on the webpage or in Microsoft word in my laptop. Once in a while I like to go back to traditional form of writing; using the actual pen and paper. And in last few years; I noticed that every time I try doing that for some reason the blank paper gets me all philosophical. Although I never have that thought while opening the book; but whenever I see those blank pages; I just go blank. I always feel that my life is staring back at me with all those unanswered silenced questions, doubts, thoughts…forcing me to think – What does my lif...

Share the Smile!

We don’t readily share our happiness with faraway friends. Atleast I don’t share my happy smiling face every now and then except with my sister. I just feel maybe the person may not be in a good mood; might be going through a rough phase or what would they care anyway, so why bother. But I realized today that it might brighten up someone’s day unexpectedly too. So am sitting here in the airport. Had woke up at 3 in the morning, did the drill of getting ready, packing up, checking out of hotel, Uber, traffic, security queue, reach the gate and find out that flight is delayed by 2 hours. And I wasn’t really mad or in bad mood; I have got used to all this; so now I really don’t get worked up at all when am stuck in traffic or delayed flights. Simple mantra - it is what it is, you can do much, so chill. But having said that, I am definitely groggy and sleepy; and have no reason to be smiling. I was just reading a book; and analyzing all the folks at the gate. Just kind of lost you can s...

My Brightest Star

You were very different from the others. The way you spoke about stars and universe, it was like you were part of them. I never understood your language, but I always enjoyed listening to you. It was so romantic when you spoke with such passion about universe. That friend of yours, Hubble, the way you discussed it's findings with so much excitement, I used to fall in love with you over and over again. The way you waited like a child outside the tent in freezing nights, to get the glimpse of milkyway, would always make me hug and kiss you. The nebulae, constellations, meteor showers, comets and so many such words, that I never knew before I met you; I started learning about them from you. For me everything was just a twinkling star in the dark night sky. You introduced me to them with names, like they were your friends, like they all were talking to you, like they all had some purpose. I thought you were crazy, but then I understood why you were so crazy about them. I still s...

My Favorite Read - 7 - Call Me by Your Name by André Aciman

"Call me by your name and I will call you by mine" . Yes. ' Let me think of the right words .' is what I kept telling myself for last one month, trying to put off writing this review, but I think it's time. I already bought a hardcopy of this book to add to my personal library. Yes, that's how much I loved it. This was the first audiobook I listened to when I started with Audible in May this year. I wanted to try some simple book to see if I would even enjoy Audible (considering I am a huge fan of books I can hold vs digital) and this book had good review for narration. So boom, I downloaded it and am glad I did. I don't know if it's the story itself or Armie Hammer's voice or the combination of both that made this love story so enticing. I don't read much of romantic novels, so I am not sure what other good novels or writers are out there in this genre. But Aciman definitely has my heart for "Call me by your name." ...

Celebrating the Bridge for Friends!

Just like any other bridge, this one plays a role of connecting you and me. Some are brand new, very inviting, clean and pure, presenting to be strong, yet to get exposed to the harsh reality of life. Some have weathered in many seasons, with few bars of railings missing, few broken planks, yet they stand strong, like huge metal bridges. Some are reinforced with fresh materials every few years, so we stay connected strong and safe for entire lifetime. Some are beyond repair, standing there rusty and broken. Not because it's impossible to fix the gap, but just waiting for equal support from the other side to mend it. Some were meant to serve one another just once. The need to cross that bridge never arose again, doesn't mean we don't remember how important that bridge was in our journey. To new and old, deep and shallow, strong and weak, connected and broken friendships, I am grateful to have known you one way or another. Happy Friendships Day! 🍻

When Life Humbles You

When you are planning life, life makes it's own plans and often takes you by surprise. Not that you grow arrogant knowingly, but we all tend to take life for granted while on our mission to success. There are often times when we oversee simpler yet most important ingredients of life. I believe that's when someone takes control of life to put a brake and slow you down. It has various innovative ways to slow you down. Nothing uncommon in the world, but definitely very new to you. I have always been slowed down by life, ever time I rushed through doing tens of thousands of things. Now looking back, I think once every 2-3 years, I am pulled over the freeway of life for speeding. This time it was my health. I have been an anti doctor anti hospital person despite of coming from family of doctors. I believe in home remedies. Steam will take care of my cold; drink some herbs for immunity, tolerate pain without painkillers, go to gym or running when you have headache so on and...

When Silence Speaks...

Search This Blog