There are times when we think of someone and wish that they
were with us at that moment. When we close our eyes and hope that the wait isn't too long; and patiently or impatiently wait for that time to pass. And the
moment we meet that person it’s like living all those long tortured moments (which
could be yearlong at times) in that few precious seconds of the meeting. All of
us have felt it at some point or the other in our lives. But what would we do
when we remember someone and know that we can never have that beautiful moment of
togetherness again?
I am not speaking of those characters whose role in your
life have ended; but are still continuing their performance in some different
stage. I do have few people in my life with whom the ties are either broken or
just too strained to be normal. But they are there somewhere in this world
living their lives. So although the probability of us being together is close
to NEVER, it’s not IMPOSSIBLE. May be few years down the
line our roads may cross again. We might be changed persons at that time and be
glad to see each other or we might still continue the awkwardness and behave like
strangers. So like I said the probability of us being together is QUITE POSSIBLE although NOT CERTAIN; but whether it would be a happy
or awkward meeting would be TOTALLY
UNCERTAIN; since it does not solely depend on you, it equally depends on
the other person too. So yeah, if you put in an effort to set up a meeting with
those old lost contacts, you might stand a chance of at least seeing them.
But if you noticed my question was actually; what would we do when we remember someone
and know that we can NEVER have that beautiful moment of
togetherness AGAIN. Yes, I am talking of someone whom you know that your chances
of meeting are humanly IMPOSSIBLE; because
that someone is no longer alive. So no matter what effort you put in, no
matter how many plans you make or change, you will never be able to arrange for
that moment of togetherness. What would you do then?
All say that Time is a healer; it will help you forget that
person. But you never will forget that person; will you? May be the number of
times their thought comes to us gradually reduces. But even if we end up in
remembering that person once a week instead of everyday; the amount of torture
of those few seconds of remembrance is UNDEFINABLE. How would you share all those feelings
or thoughts with that person; that you could never tell him or her? How would you feel when every time you mention of that person in present tense in any conversation; you have to take a brief pause and refer to him or her in past tense? How would
you bear the thought that you can never see or hug that person ever; no matter
how much badly you tried? You would look up to the sky and wish that all those bedtime
stories of angels are really true. And that they would take just this one
message of yours; that you miss him or her; that your life is and will never be
the same without him. No matter how hard you try not to let those tears from
forming in your eyes, they just flow as if they never had stopped. The pain,
the torture of the very thought, that you will never see that person again;
that you can never hug him or talk to him, and all that is left with you are
his memories; is gut wrenching.
It will be one year this August since I lost my Dad to an
accident; but it’s like just yesterday that I wished him good night over the
call. I still remember, when I got to know that he is no more, I just kept
thinking how will my life be without him; and I couldn't imagine anything; I was
blank. But today; I know how it is like living without him and I can predict
how the rest of my life would be. It will
definitely not be the same. Missing him has become my habit. I haven’t stopped
living, and I will continue to live the dreams he had for me; but my world isn't the same and it will never be.
So what can you do;
when you remember someone and know that you can NEVER have that beautiful moment of togetherness AGAIN? Those who know what this is like
can never express it and those who have never been there will never know it.
-Sarita
(19th April 2014)
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