I met him at Kathmandu International airport, since our flights were around the same time, we had decided to wait for one another. Both of us had our Pokhara flight cancelled due to weather. We headed to domestic airport and bought tickets at the counter for next available flight; and hence came to know one another before the trek.
He was a Maharashtrian, and we spoke in Marathi. He started sharing all his adventures from Kilimajanro to Antrartica; and I was completely awed by all the stories he had to share. I was like a sponge ready to absorb any drop of information that would fall on my ears.
Then the conversation got personal; and he said "I am 67 years old. I remarried 10 years back and it was kind of love marriage." To my surprise, I wasn't surprised by this. I smiled and said "Wow, good for you!". He looked and spoke like my father, and from the moment I had laid eyes on him in the airport, I was happily connected to him. He continued "But my children don't approve of it, so I moved out to Pune." And I said "Well, if they cannot accept, it's their problem. If you are happy, then that's all that matters."
That was that, and the conversation went on to something else, until we reached Pokhara.
We met everyone else in the team; and the next day we boarded the bus that would take us to the base camp, from where we would begin our trek to Khayar Lake (Khopara Ridge). Another trek mate, a dentist from Delhi, in his mid forties was in conversation with my Pune friend. (I generally avoid actual names in my blogs). And somewhere mid way the conversation again went on personal matters and the topic of remarriage. That's when the dentist responded saying "I can understand your view point, but it's very difficult for us to accept. We are also going through the same situation at our home. My dad wants to remarry and the lady is someone quite younger to him. My brother is okay with this; but I cannot approve. I never have had open conversation with my dad. But hearing you out, I definitely feel I can change my opinion. I might go back and talk to him and get this sorted in my head."
You know when I heard him, it kind of occurred to me, that I was so naive in saying it's their problem earlier. It's quite complicated, these relationships. They are never black and white. I spent probably a good 30 minutes thinking about this after hearing this conversation. What would I do? My dad passed away 6 years back in a road accident. Well knowing my mom, she would never do this and if she even remotely reads this passage she would skin me alive. But anyway, hypothetically what if tomorrow she says she wants to remarry. Or for that matter, if my dad was alive today and my mom had passed away in that accident, and he says he wanted to remarry.
I don't know., I don't know if it makes it much easier if the parents are divorced and remarry to someone else; or when it happens while you are quite young. But in this case, to think of someone else entering into the relation of your mom or dad; after 35 - 40 years; to comprehend it and accept it; might be more difficult than it seems. I mean, it was interesting to see myself battle that thought in my head.
As open minded as I am, I might eventually accept it, but never call the new person mom or dad; coz for me I just have one mom and one dad for this lifetime. But honestly, it would never be an easy thing to do. Once again, I reminded myself not to judge anyone, for I don't know what I would do when I step into their shoes.
Hmm. I am a person who loves to keep life simple; but I know relationships and emotions are quite complicated. You can never find an absolute right and an absolute wrong; everyone tries to do their best given the circumstances they are in.
He was a Maharashtrian, and we spoke in Marathi. He started sharing all his adventures from Kilimajanro to Antrartica; and I was completely awed by all the stories he had to share. I was like a sponge ready to absorb any drop of information that would fall on my ears.
Then the conversation got personal; and he said "I am 67 years old. I remarried 10 years back and it was kind of love marriage." To my surprise, I wasn't surprised by this. I smiled and said "Wow, good for you!". He looked and spoke like my father, and from the moment I had laid eyes on him in the airport, I was happily connected to him. He continued "But my children don't approve of it, so I moved out to Pune." And I said "Well, if they cannot accept, it's their problem. If you are happy, then that's all that matters."
That was that, and the conversation went on to something else, until we reached Pokhara.
We met everyone else in the team; and the next day we boarded the bus that would take us to the base camp, from where we would begin our trek to Khayar Lake (Khopara Ridge). Another trek mate, a dentist from Delhi, in his mid forties was in conversation with my Pune friend. (I generally avoid actual names in my blogs). And somewhere mid way the conversation again went on personal matters and the topic of remarriage. That's when the dentist responded saying "I can understand your view point, but it's very difficult for us to accept. We are also going through the same situation at our home. My dad wants to remarry and the lady is someone quite younger to him. My brother is okay with this; but I cannot approve. I never have had open conversation with my dad. But hearing you out, I definitely feel I can change my opinion. I might go back and talk to him and get this sorted in my head."
You know when I heard him, it kind of occurred to me, that I was so naive in saying it's their problem earlier. It's quite complicated, these relationships. They are never black and white. I spent probably a good 30 minutes thinking about this after hearing this conversation. What would I do? My dad passed away 6 years back in a road accident. Well knowing my mom, she would never do this and if she even remotely reads this passage she would skin me alive. But anyway, hypothetically what if tomorrow she says she wants to remarry. Or for that matter, if my dad was alive today and my mom had passed away in that accident, and he says he wanted to remarry.
I don't know., I don't know if it makes it much easier if the parents are divorced and remarry to someone else; or when it happens while you are quite young. But in this case, to think of someone else entering into the relation of your mom or dad; after 35 - 40 years; to comprehend it and accept it; might be more difficult than it seems. I mean, it was interesting to see myself battle that thought in my head.
As open minded as I am, I might eventually accept it, but never call the new person mom or dad; coz for me I just have one mom and one dad for this lifetime. But honestly, it would never be an easy thing to do. Once again, I reminded myself not to judge anyone, for I don't know what I would do when I step into their shoes.
Hmm. I am a person who loves to keep life simple; but I know relationships and emotions are quite complicated. You can never find an absolute right and an absolute wrong; everyone tries to do their best given the circumstances they are in.
Comments
Post a Comment