A Pink Soap Box

There it was. 

I was cleaning my bathroom cabinets and it was hiding in the bottom shelf. A small plastic pink soap box.

I held it and was instantly taken back to year 1999.

When I had been in a hostel for the first time in my life. For the first time I was staying away from home, away from my family, all by myself in some unknown place with strangers. Not until 7 years later that I finally moved out of home and started living independently, did I experience that same nauseated feeling again. 

But that day, that moment, it was going to be the first time in my life, staying away from my family, and first’s are always special.

It’s funny, how this pink soap box takes me on a time travel right back to that moment.

The school was just about 15 minutes walk from our home. But that year they had some summer camp, that required kids to stay for 15 days in school’s hostel. I remember my uncle and mom dropping me off near the hostel gate. 

It’s funny, because I don’t remember much from that summer camp. My memory is worse than that of Ghajini's Aamir Khan. 

But this pink soap box - I remember this. 

I remember the excitement mixed with anxiety. I remember the fear of not being able to fit in. I was one of those studious and invisible kid, who wasn’t in any sports or cultural events, just a simple kid getting good grades. 

It’s funny, how different I was back then.

I have no visual memory of anything else from that summer camp, but this pink soap box, I remember this. It had some sort of cute sticker on top of it, I can vaguely remember that. And I remember that innocent feeling - I wasn’t sad for going away from my family, I was just scared of being away from their protective shelter. 

It’s funny, but not in a funny way. 

I remember thinking that it was the only opportunity I will ever get in my life to live unrestrained. And yet, I don't think I had done anything crazy at all. Back then, I never thought that staying alone in different countries with absolutely no friends would become a new normal to me.

It’s funny, how unknowingly this pink soap box has kept traveling with me all these years. 

I don’t know why I never trashed it. I have no use for it, have not had any use for it, for at least over 15 years now. Maybe, every time I held it, it reminded me of that moment, that feeling and I somehow could never bring myself to throw it away. 

Well, just like today, I had cleaned it and kept it back in the cabinet.

This little pink soap box has kept that one little memory alive in my otherwise messed up brain for over 21 years now. 

It’s funny, how some totally insignificant thing can preserve such precious memory of life.