Still Single

Yes. It’s 2021.

And Yes. I am still single.

And I love the way you use ‘still’.

Like you know what’s right for me. Like you know me, my life, and it’s plans.

That ‘still’ word used to sting me when I started hearing it first. Those were the days when I trusted the ways of world.

Then slowly I got used to the ‘still’ word. But nevertheless, it made me uncomfortable, feel embarrassed.

You made me feel like a lesser being. The tone of that ‘still’ made my skin crawl. Every time you said ‘still single’, you forced me to compare myself to all other lives around me, like everyone was climbing slowly up the cliff and I was falling into the gorge.

I will never forget that suffocation I felt, because of your word ‘still’.

And then I did drown. I did not know how to swim. I bobbed my head above, kicked my legs hard, drank murky water, I struggled to find a shore, while you stood there watching.

And that’s when I started seeing myself. More and more of myself. Staying alone, living with me, I started learning new things about me. I started trusting myself.

I started falling in love with me. I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t stop myself. Every second I spent with me, I drifted into the arms of my soul.

I chose not to swim for the shore. I chose to lie back and float. I enjoyed the sun, sky, tides and wind.

Now when you use ‘still’, it makes me smile. I see that tinge of uncertainty in your voice, I see that it’s you who is uncomfortable looking into my eyes.

So Yes, I am ‘still single’. And I wear that badge proudly. Being single is not a compulsion but my choice. And now it’s your turn, to get used to it. Not everything you believed was true after all.

I am still single. And more alive than ever.

And you know it.

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