Get Married..Or you might turn Gay?

I have an amazing bunch of friends; and my life has been a beautiful journey partly because of them. No doubt, they care for me and carry my best interests in their hearts. There are only a few of them, whom I have given the right and liberty to advise me. and not that I really listen to everything they have to say; I just hear them out. :)

But this conversation has been the best so far I have had; it kind of still cracks me up. No offense to my friend; he is not an avid reader of my blog; so I don't think he will read this; but if ever he does; disclaimer - don't take it personally, I still love you my friend!

I am single; and I know the world is moving at a faster pace; babies are born everywhere; kids are going to school in all parts of the world; all my friends and cousins are mommies and daddies; and I obviously am left far far behind in this race. Honestly, I can care less; or rather I haven't found time to worry about it yet.

And this does worry people who love & care for me. My family, my friends.

So, this friend of mine, he tries to bring up this topic. He starts with

'I know you are busy with work, and travel, and relocation etc.. But it's time you start thinking about your personal life too. Time is passing and your body clock is ticking too.' all good so far, these are typical words I hear, I continue to nod and listen.

'A companion is necessary to share your life with, you might have had bad experiences, that doesn't mean you stop looking. You should continue to put in an effort' True, I agree a partner is necessary; again I nod.

'Take for an example; this friend of mine; she had a bad marriage; she was my batchmate; she got divorced, and moved to a different city. Even she kept herself away from marriage for long time, and now she is a gay' I was like huh - I say ' so she is now a lesbian you mean?'

And he goes 'Haan wohi, and she is now in a relationship with a girl, she has turned gay. So, it will get very complicated as time passes by. I suggest, you start looking when there is time. Rest is up to you'

And luckily for him, conversation gets interrupted by another friend; and conversation closes.

But I can't help smiling even now. For one, he was stuck at gay part, I din't know if he could not differentiate between gay and lesbian; or he did not want to use the term Lesbian,.

And secondly, he genuinely wanted me to find someone; but I did not understand the context of bringing up a lesbian friend's example here; all I could derive was - if you don't find anyone sooner; as you get older, you might turn gay (lesbian)?

It seemed more like a dhamki,like he is threatening me to take my life more seriously. Hahahah.. Oh my god, I can't help but still laugh, I still find myself lucky to have bunch of such funny old friends.

I wish I could tell him - Dude, one doesn't turn gay or lesbian because they cannot find anyone in opposite sex :D And honestly, the LGBT trend in India, I think is doing more harm than good for general public; people are probably getting more confused than ever. If this friend, who has been staying in USA for few years now; is hesitant in talking freely about it; I can only imagine what rest of the society would think like.

And I still cannot conclude why he linked that example; I am pretty sure, he wanted to send me some sort of message. What I did understand though, is that it might not be just him thinking that I am not normal. May be wider range of society might end up concluding that I am not married, because I am not interested in guys.

Well, I am not interested in meeting guys right now, true; but that doesn't mean I am lesbian. One knows when they are gay or lesbian; they don't need a bad marriage or break ups or aging. And it will be their choice of life, nothing wrong there, a partner is a person with whom you are comfortable, that's the basic definition, gender does not come into play.

Well, my darling friend, if it's of any comfort to you, let me clarify and confirm, if & when I choose a partner, it will be a guy.

Hahahaha.. I am still laughing as I am typing this. This has been the cutest advise till date hands down :)

-Sarita
Dated - 8th September 2018

Comments

My Favorite Read - 6 - The Climb by Anatoli Boukreev (and Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer)

So, now that I want to get into some serious mountaineering activities, I started with reading books on mountains. When you check for top few books on mountains the one that comes up is " Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer " followed by “ The Climb by Anatoli Boukreev" ; both based on the 1996 Everest disaster which was made quite controversial. I started with "Into Thin Air' and while I was reading, I was continuously in conflict with Jon's views. Mind you, my memory is pretty weak when it comes to remembering details of any story - whether its books or movies. I had watched few documentaries and the Everest movie based on this topic; but that was a while ago. when I started reading this book 2 weeks back, I had no background; you can say I was totally new to this story. And yet, it was difficult for me to understand some of Jon's accusations or feelings. But nevertheless, Jon's style of writing was amazing; he knew how to keep reader's...

Ahamasmi Yodha - My First Tattoo

I finally did it. It isn’t a great achievement to show off, but for me it’s one more item on my bucket list getting fulfilled. So I am very happy about it. What did I do? Oh like I said nothing great – I just got my FIRST Tattoo :) My first Tattoo Artist I had done a lot of research on it since last couple of months. I wanted to get it done on my birthday, but it somehow dint work out. For all the first timers, I wanted to list out my personal experience, just in case it helps :) First of all, I felt it will be very helpful if you have some friends who would have got it done already. But I dint have that privilege. So I went through lot of blogs and articles in About.com, Wikihow, YahooAnswers etc… Well Google, the new lord of knowledge :) has all that you need to know. So, in summary, what I got from all these sites were First decide on what you want to get tattooed and where. Go over it again and again, since it is permanent, you will have to live ...

Dear Dost

Dear Dost, I know you are dealing with a lot in life. A lot has happened in the past that has changed you. A lot is happening right now, that is forcing you to change. A lot of decisions you have to make that's exploding your brains. You are multi tasking like some superhero. You have issues at home, in the family, in your personal life, that you are juggling with. You have professional problems that you are dealing with. A lot - that's what's happening to you right now. When I met you, I saw "a lot" has changed in you. I have changed too, and so have you. But what I could not ask you was - are you still you? I remembered Gulzar's words, written back in 1995 (atleast that's what the source says, I had listened to Jagjit Singh singing this, and it had registered in me since then). din kuchh aise guzārtā hai koī jaise ehsāñ utārtā hai koī dil meñ kuchh yuuñ sambhāltā huuñ ġham jaise zevar sambhāltā hai koī aaina ...

Home is a house without loved ones!

Home is a house without loved ones! It was September 24th 2005 when I left my home and since then till now I have been to home like some far away relative staying out of town, visiting our family once or twice in a year during diwali or New Year or some ones wedding. A guest in my own home! I joined this software industry on 26th September 2005 in Mysore, then I travelled to Pune in 2006 for a year and then to Bangalore in 2007 for one more year and then to London in 2008 for roughly a year and now in USA-2009. In all these 4 years, I have been busy. Busy getting adjusted to life outside home, for the one who has never stayed out of home, in even a hostel before – to handle this freedom yes definitely thrilling J, seeing new places, making new friends, keeping in touch with old ones. Professional career, half yearly appraisal fights, CRRs, freaking and idiotic managers, some stupid colleagues, some shrewd ones, and some of your own frequency. All this while, I did not really miss my ho...

Love, Loss and Father's Day

I have been meaning to write this post for a while now, but somehow words fail me. I started writing, and stopped at the first two sentences, erasing and rephrasing, re-iterating the process every time I attempted to write this. 8 months later, today on Father’s day, I think I finally am able to put words into meaningful sentences. It’s weird how most of the times, I just need an inspiration, an idea or a feeling to write pages together without any effort; and then there are times, when my mind is cluttered with so many thoughts ,eager to be put on paper that I find it hard to form a single straight sentence. But I feel like writing today, so here it goes. My best friend lost her mom to a health incident few months back. When I spoke to her she asked me how did I handle it when my dad passed away few years back. I could not explain it to her then, I just said you will learn to live through it. That was when I first tried to write this blog. Even after so many years, ...

Celebrating the Bridge for Friends!

Just like any other bridge, this one plays a role of connecting you and me. Some are brand new, very inviting, clean and pure, presenting to be strong, yet to get exposed to the harsh reality of life. Some have weathered in many seasons, with few bars of railings missing, few broken planks, yet they stand strong, like huge metal bridges. Some are reinforced with fresh materials every few years, so we stay connected strong and safe for entire lifetime. Some are beyond repair, standing there rusty and broken. Not because it's impossible to fix the gap, but just waiting for equal support from the other side to mend it. Some were meant to serve one another just once. The need to cross that bridge never arose again, doesn't mean we don't remember how important that bridge was in our journey. To new and old, deep and shallow, strong and weak, connected and broken friendships, I am grateful to have known you one way or another. Happy Friendships Day! 🍻

Alaska Diaries - Innocence is Fearless

Innocence is fearless. Innocence is free from consciousness of how it gets perceived. Innocence just acts, reacts at free will. On the Denali National park bus, there was a 6 year old boy, Matt. While driving in the park, there were couple of folks riding the bike, and the guide made a comment " We call them Meals on the Wheels! " ; we all giggled, smiled for 2 secs ; like we did on most of his jokes; and got back to the normal serious self. After almost a minute or two, this kid started laughing out loud. And he told his mom " Oh.. Now I got the joke. Oh that's so Funny. Hahaha.. Meals on the Wheels!! " and he was laughing his heart out. He was the only one in the bus laughing but that dint stop him from doing so. For a full 8-10 mins, he went on and on , reminding himself of that phrase and laughing. I laughed for 4-5 mins with him just because of the way of his laughter; I couldn't control. This happened in the morning; but now on the way...

Zindagi Gulzar Hai - A feast to ones eyes!

Today I am here to make a much interesting comparison of our current Indian TV industry with our neighboring country’s television industry. Interesting because I never thought I would ever engage in watching any of the Pakistan TV series/movies or listening to their music. My disinterest in Pakistan entertainment was not because of the tensed relationship with the country. But I myself am not a big fan of TV serials. The kind of drama that is filled in Indian TV Channels today is just exhausting and tiring to watch. I hardly follow any Indian TV series. When I visit home on vacation, I join my family in watching the program they watch and that’s how I keep myself updated with what is trending in the TV industry. I love listening to music and I listen to all genres of music. I did start listening to Pakistani music since last few years and have admired their music. Strings, Fuzon, Kaavish, Jal, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Ghulam Ali, Parveen Abida, Quratulain Baloch and many ...

A Pink Soap Box

There it was. I was cleaning my bathroom cabinets and it was hiding in the bottom shelf. A small plastic pink soap box. I held it and was instantly taken back to year 1999. When I had been in a hostel for the first time in my life. For the first time I was staying away from home, away from my family, all by myself in some unknown place with strangers. Not until 7 years later that I finally moved out of home and started living independently, did I experience that same nauseated feeling again. But that day, that moment, it was going to be the first time in my life, staying away from my family, and first’s are always special. It’s funny, how this pink soap box takes me on a time travel right back to that moment. The school was just about 15 minutes walk from our home. But that year they had some summer camp, that required kids to stay for 15 days in school’s hostel. I remember my uncle and mom dropping me off near the hostel gate. It’s...

World of Truths!

I have had different encounters in life, learnt different lessons, seen different people, dealt with different situations. I remember those days when I used to converse with my dad on how things and people were back in his days, and it has gradually changed with time. Changes are inevitable correct? People adapt with time, things change, time travels and world revolves around it. So it's all good. Change is good. But few instances in recent past has made me wonder, how much of all these changes have impacted human values. Basic values like Truth and Honesty. Those were the days when a man gives his word, he sticks to it till his last breath. There were no stamp paper, no documents to hold him accountable to what he says. It was just the words that were told by him and heard by the listener. And today, truth is changing its color every second. Chanakya says " A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first ." ...

When Silence Speaks...

Search This Blog