Kaputt!

"Kaputt!" he said.

"Huh what?" she asked looking at him

"Kaputt. That's what I am." he said gazing past the horizon, lost in thoughts.

"What does that mean?" she asked slowly holding his hand, their fingers intertwined.

"Broken. It means broken in German." He said squeezing her hand.

They had met a few months back, when he was struggling with depression. She had entered his life as a breath of fresh air.

"I don't think this heart can be whole again. I don't think I can move on. She is always in my thoughts when am awake and in my dreams when I am asleep. She is always around, I can never forget her." He said, pulling his hand away and lighting a cigarette. He took a long drag, and let out a sigh watching the sunset light the sky scarlett.

"Everything reminds me of her. Even this freaking sunset doesn't give me peace anymore." He said with frustration.

She came closer, locked her arm in his, and laid her head on his shoulder. "Hmm".

"I am so lost. You know, I am so scared to even think of loving again. I don't think I can come out of this. I know you are trying hard, but it's like, I take one step forward and then fall five steps back in this darkness. It's hopeless."

He turned towards her, pulled her closer and asked "Why are you still with me?"

"Because you need me. And because I want to be with you." she said looking into his wet eyes.

"No, really why? After knowing everything about me, and seeing my struggle, you still are hopeful of me? What if I can never love you?"

"That's alright. I am not here because I want your love. I am here because I know how hard this phase is. I had to deal with it alone. I know how dark it can get, and without any help what a hell it can be. You are a good human. I cannot see you wasting your life. I don't want you to deal with this alone. I want to give you all that support which I did not get when I was drowning. As a friend, as a girlfriend, as a lover - relationship status does not matter to me. Your life does." She said looking at him, her face lit with golden sunset glow.

"But why me?" he asked helplessly.

"I don't know. When I saw you the first time, those eyes, there was something in them, I felt so connected. It was like my heart wanted to be with you. Maybe it was that sadness, or that love for the lost. I don't know what it was. But at that moment I was yours. Stupid? Yes. It just felt like you held that missing piece of my, what's that word, yeah my kaputt heart." She said with a sparkle in her eyes.

He hugged her, and kissed her forehead.

She smiled and continued "And why do you want to forget her? Don't kill your love for her. Don't forget her. Just accept her loss. Let her beautiful memories be with you, forever."

She pulled herself away, and said staring at the endless horizon. "First love is always special. Because they taught this heart how to love without boundaries. That pure innocent love, those memories are meant to be cherished, not locked out from life."

He put his arms around her shoulder, kissed her cheek, and whispered "Thank you! From one kaputt heart to another". They both smiled.

Sky was now getting dark, and the mountains in the background were creating a magical silhouette. They both stood there in each other's arms, lost in thoughts, their sorrows dissolving in the sunset, two kaputt souls healing one another.

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इन यादों को यकीन है ||

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When Silence Speaks...

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