The famous White cliffs of Dover and the Dover castle over the English channel. All in one picture.
I remember that weekend in Dover to be bright, sunny and beautiful. And it is also a beautiful memory for me because I wasn't just with a group of friends, but I was with my then boyfriend, who had planned to spend his birthday in London. So it was a pleasant, romantic, fun filled weekend, and I remember every moment of it filled with so much excitement and happiness.
I am a different person today than what I was in Dover 12 years back, life does that you. You gather a lot of experiences over time and become what they call - mature and wise.
But I keep my memories of London very close to my heart, because they remind me of that innocent girl who was completely oblivious to psychology of humans. Not that I have learnt my lessons now, am still ignorant of how people work. For once I can guess how God operates, but not people, for me they work in mysterious ways. However, let's say may be, my defense has gotten better over time.
If you have watched Breaking Bad series, you might recall a scene when Walter tries to tell Jesse, about the moment when he thought it was perfect for him to stop the clock of his life; my days in London means something similar to me; but not that I want to go back to that time. No.
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But until that point I had not faced any catastrophic events in my life. I was like a kid in her twenties, not exposed to the so called real world, very simple, very naive, very innocent, trying so hard to fit in. Definition of right and wrong was so societal and text bookish to me back then. Trusting people came to me like it would to a kid who would trust anyone with a smile and a candy. I used to think something was wrong with me for not having same thought process as the rest of the society, so of course, I was always self doubting, and trying really hard to follow the foot steps constantly fighting my inner voice.
And then, life happened, pretty much every year after that I was hit by one or other life changing moments, hammering and moulding my personality into what it is today. But this moment in Dover, it reminds me of those simple emotions. You know its always good to remember how we felt as kids; that dose of innocence and hope, is very much necessary to soothe and nurture our aging soul.
I am glad covid lockdown is making me go through some of these old pictures that's reviving some refreshing memories of the past. But didn't Albert Einstein quote that "The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."
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