Who is your Confidant?

How does living become so difficult and death so easy?

Is our so called society incapable of an emotional support system to save a single life?

I can understand, at times given the situation, it's hard for a lot of people to handle things alone. It's for these times specifically that we surround ourselves with friends and families. I find it hard to believe that a person doesn't have a single confidant in his life, if not hundreds, to support him or her during these times. Is our society truly that shallow? The concept of shrinks is next level, to get professional help. But the first step always starts with someone close to you.

Are we truly so insensitive, that we have become unapproachable, and we don't even know it? I think it's time you asked your friends, family or people whom you regard close to you, that do they trust you enough, to share something deep and dark that might mess their life? And it's okay if you are not their go to person, as long as they are able to tell you atleast one name, as long as they have someone, to share their depression or anxiety or whatever emotion that eventually drives one to attempt suicide.

We talk about all these national and international disasters of humanity, of Black lives, of Muslim lives, of elephants, of wildlife, of Iraq, of Palestine etc...etc... Do we take time to ask the person next to us, how his or her life is going? We just assume that everything is fine with the person, and if there's something wrong we will know.

But what we fail at seeing is how great an actor we all are. We are amazingly talented in hiding our true feelings. The truth is YOU WONT KNOW. You won't know if your spouse, siblings, parents, children, friends are going through something dark until you don't confront them. And in the same way, until you don't speak about it, no one else will know what you are going through. It's a myth that people who love you can sense if something's wrong. The truth is even if they sense it, your instinct of being normal, stops them from knowing anything substantial.

It's very very disturbing for me to hear of people taking their own life. I can't begin to comprehend the desolation they might have felt. Someone told me that it's usually that one moment where they get all that courage to attempt suicide. It's the burst of either rage or sadness or contempt that just pushes them over the edge. But if only we could communicate better, maybe, just maybe a few innocent messed up lives could be saved.

We are living in a world filled with tools for communication. But we as humans have forgotten how to communicate what truly matters. We don't make the best use of these tools.

I don't think anyone, any life, can be so messed up that they can't be saved. For me the only important resource on this planet, in this universe is, my life. If I have my life, I can figure the rest of it. I love myself, my life with utmost passion. And so, seeing people throw away something so precious, always unsettles me.

It's not about how troubled you think they are, or if their problems are real or not, it's not about being judgemental, it's about being there for them, just listening to them, and telling that things will be alright.

See if you have that one confidant in your life, so when a storm hits you hard and you need someone to clean the debris, you have that person on speed dial. I don't think humans are incapable of empathy. So, if someone thinks that they can come to you, be there for them, unbiased. They don't need a judge at that time, there's thousands of them already doing that job.

I think we are all just caught up in a maze, thinking we won't be the one needing that kind of help, just like we think we won't die tomorrow. It's ignorance of the darker sides of life, that leaves a lot of us unprepared. And the society we live in, is very judgemental including ourselves. So it's very hard, when you start thinking, who can really see your naked soul? Who can help you when you need it?

Ask these questions if you haven't already. And try finding your true confidant or confidante in the sea of so called true relations you swim in; and find yourself lucky if someone thinks of you as theirs.

(Woke up to a suicide news, and hence all the blabbering. Had to get it out of my system, so I could get on with my life.)

Comments

Happy Father's Day!!!

From the time I started knowing people, one person that I always looked up to was my Dad. A person who believed I could move the world. A person who believed that I could do much more than what I would say I could. He might not be the perfect person. He surely would have done his share of mistakes and learnt from it. But as a father, he defined masculinity for me. He made me realize that masculinity was not a gender . It's a behavior, an act, a character that he wanted me to absorb as well. He taught me to be the man of the house - To be brave, to face challenges of life alone, not to entrust my future in other's hands. He gave me freedom to make decisions of my life, to make my own mistakes and learn from it. He made me feel that to run a family, to live one's life, you really don't need a MAN. Having someone beside you is always a blessing; but never make that the necessity of life. There was absolutely nothing that I could not do just because I was a girl. He ha...

Celebrating the Bridge for Friends!

Just like any other bridge, this one plays a role of connecting you and me. Some are brand new, very inviting, clean and pure, presenting to be strong, yet to get exposed to the harsh reality of life. Some have weathered in many seasons, with few bars of railings missing, few broken planks, yet they stand strong, like huge metal bridges. Some are reinforced with fresh materials every few years, so we stay connected strong and safe for entire lifetime. Some are beyond repair, standing there rusty and broken. Not because it's impossible to fix the gap, but just waiting for equal support from the other side to mend it. Some were meant to serve one another just once. The need to cross that bridge never arose again, doesn't mean we don't remember how important that bridge was in our journey. To new and old, deep and shallow, strong and weak, connected and broken friendships, I am grateful to have known you one way or another. Happy Friendships Day! 🍻

Whose purpose is more meaningful?

Who sets guidelines or standards for an acceptable purpose of life? Some are fighters whose ultimate purpose is to fight; for environment, for nation, for religion, for women, for sick, for poor, for justice, for universe etc..etc.. (doctors, lawyers, politicians, NGOs, environmentalists, socialists, defense forces, civil forces, economists, saints, monks,etc..). Some are creators whose purpose is to create that one masterpiece for the world (people like writers, musicians, artists, composers, scientists, researchers, innovators, farmers, influencers, engineers, chefs, designers, architects etc..etc..). Then comes the category of skill or hobby loving folks who find purpose of life in their skills or passion like acting, teaching, singing, climbing, mountaineering, sports etc... But all these together form just 5-10% of the society. The major part of this world don't have any said purpose. Not everyone's ultimate purpose is to save the world. Rest of this world lead...

इन यादों को यकीन है ||

शीशे की दरारों में फसे सूरज की किरणे फर्श पे जमी हुई कीचड़ की दाग हर चीज़ पे धूल का पर्दा बिछा हुआ जैसे ओडी हो यादों की घूँघट इन सबने || मानो जैसे हर दीवार केहती कोई कहानी है जैसे वो टूटा हुआ आइना छुपाती किसीकी जवानी है उस झूले में जैसे दबी किसीकी मुस्कराहट है सब कैद है बस इंतज़ार में एक उसके || वो सावन जब भीगते थे घंटो तक आँगन में भागते थे एक दूसरे को छेड़ते पूरे घर में अब न वो बारिश रही न वो मासूम छेड़कानी बस रह गयी है तो ये फर्श पे जमी कीचड की दाग || वो आइना जिसने निहारा उनका खूबसूरत साथ जो शर्माके नज़रे झुकाती जब वो पास उसके जाता बालो में गजरा लगाता, काजल का टिका लगाता इसे भी इंतज़ार है फिर से उस जवान महोब्बत का || वो झूला आज भी डूबते सूरज से पूछता है क्यूँ ज़ंग लगी है उसमें, क्यूँ नहीं प्यार से उसे कोई झुलाता न वो शाम रहा जब वो एक दुसरे की बाहों में घंटों तक झूलते और न वो सूरज जिस से वो एक दुसरे की नादान शिकायत करते || बस इक आहट से उनके, इस खँडहर में जान आये उनके छूने से जी उठे हर एक चीज़ हट जाये यादों क...

Combat with Mosquitoes in Delhi Airport - 15 Dead

Yeah, if I owned a news channel or newspaper; then headlines today would read exactly like this. I was in transit in Delhi Indira Gandhi Airport and I had to wait for 4 hours; and trust me it was hell. It’s been ages since I have actually fought with mosquitoes, so for a bit I felt I might lose the battle with them. In my childhood days, during rainy season, it was a time pass for us kids, clapping hands trying to kill mosquitoes. As disgusting as it may seem; back then it definitely was a fun filled activity. It’s been over couple of decades now that I have actually dealt with such an army of healthy & fit mosquitoes. I spent first hour trying to be civilized; just shooing them away; but then I had had enough. I went from defence to offence. Within the next hour I killed roughly 15 mosquitoes; captured in my closed fist more than 10 mosquitoes and released these war prisoners safely alive. Honestly even today, it kind of gives a sense of accomplishment to accurately ...

Listener of the Fallen Stars

In the far end of the world, on the land stretched with endless deserts, walks an old merchant, Mejhul, the nameless, the faceless. The name had fallen on him, as he was an orphan raised on the streets of different cities, growing up along the caravans of traders. And eventually he had come to like his name, for he was unknown, moving from one new place to another, no home to return to, no one that he belonged to. A nomad, a wanderer, he travels with his camel, Arkadash, who was truly his friend. From the time he ventured on this journey, Arkadash was with him, for over three decades now. Mejhul spent his life, with half the year in the world out there, around people and their unlimited stories. And the rest half of the year of winter months in these deserts, wrapped in the night sky and their eternal tales. He was no longer nameless though, he was now known, known as the Listener of the Fallen Stars. Sitting in front of his tent in this fairly cold winter, lean...

SriLanka Backpacking Itinerary - 14 days - One Country - Many Experiences

Finally, I tried to put together the itinerary of the 14 days backpacking trip in SriLanka I did with a friend in December 2019. Some general notes - For accommodation, we used Hostelworld.com ; Booking.com ; Airbnb.ca On an average $7 - $15 USD we get good accommodation in hostel/airbnb. Coconut water - 80 LKR (because I drank a lot of it :)) TukTuk - always suggest you check with locals on what's the average price, so you can negotiate with the drivers better. Bus & train - most preferred mode of transportation, cheap, depending on the time of the day there are chance of it being crowded, but hey - if you want to get the sense of the place and people, go for it. In the expenses I have not included accommodation or food or rides within city. Used Splitwise app to track my daily expenses. Carry USD in cash. local banks do give good exchange rate if you don't convert everything in Colombo airport. People bank of China did not charge ...

My Favorite Read - 11 - City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert

An absolutely delicious novel of which I savoured every single page. After "A man called Ove by Fredrick Backman", this is the first time that I could not stop smiling throughout my read, and trust me you don't get to experience that quite often. So, thank you Elizabeth Gilbert for such an entertaining novel. Vivian moris is the woman I fell in love with along with dozen other characters. Such a colorful novel, and the casual manner in which it's delivered, did the perfect trick. Okay, let me back up a bit. Starting with Vivian's entry into New York back in 1940s, this is how she explains it to Angela, " But this is a city that gets born anew in the fresh eyes of every young person who arrives here for the first time. So that city, that place—newly created for my eyes only—will never exist again. It is preserved forever in my memory like an orchid trapped in a paperweight. That city will always be my perfect New York. " And that is exactly how I felt wh...

Reading between the lines

“ What makes you think it’s you? ” She asked cocking her head to her right giving him a studying glance. He thought he was sure, but now looking at her piercing eyes, he wasn’t so sure after all. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and clearing his throat said “ Well, you know, you always write about broken heart. And ahem, we both know, how that happened. So.. you know, I thought that it’s written around our relationship .” “ Hmm ” she said, straightening and sipping her bourbon. “ But now looks like I was a fool to think that? ” Now it was his turn to shot that questioning glance. “ You were always a fool. You know that right. But anyway you were my fool! ” She smiled. “ I like the sound of ‘my’ there. But I am getting a feeling there’s no place for it anymore? ” he asked with slight nervousness. “ Tell me Erhan, why are you really here? I have my assumptions but I want to hear it from you. Tell me. ” She leaned forward, throwing her full weight on the table and her full atten...

Life a Wonderful Twister

(In response to my Friend Chiru's Blog - Life is a Wonderful Twister. Dated 10/26/2010) Life ... This 4 lettered word has the entire world woven around it. I always felt if there is anything at all as powerful as this word - LIFE . Every word you speak is related to this word directly or indirectly. Everything you see, feel, sense has the essence of LIFE . Every minute we spend adds memories to the heart, experience to your mind, people to your world, happiness/sadness/anger/ ecstasy/many more such feelings to your emotions. We begin our LIFE with only 1 person in our world - Amma (Mother). We are born and we have 2 people in our world - Mom and Dad. Then we add Sisters, Brothers, Uncles, Aunts, Grandpas, Grandmas, teachers, friends, colleagues, girl friends, boy friends, husband, wife(husbands/wives in some cases), in laws, children, grandchildren and so on. Our world grows as we grow. It's amazing the way li...

When Silence Speaks...

Search This Blog