Who is your Confidant?

How does living become so difficult and death so easy?

Is our so called society incapable of an emotional support system to save a single life?

I can understand, at times given the situation, it's hard for a lot of people to handle things alone. It's for these times specifically that we surround ourselves with friends and families. I find it hard to believe that a person doesn't have a single confidant in his life, if not hundreds, to support him or her during these times. Is our society truly that shallow? The concept of shrinks is next level, to get professional help. But the first step always starts with someone close to you.

Are we truly so insensitive, that we have become unapproachable, and we don't even know it? I think it's time you asked your friends, family or people whom you regard close to you, that do they trust you enough, to share something deep and dark that might mess their life? And it's okay if you are not their go to person, as long as they are able to tell you atleast one name, as long as they have someone, to share their depression or anxiety or whatever emotion that eventually drives one to attempt suicide.

We talk about all these national and international disasters of humanity, of Black lives, of Muslim lives, of elephants, of wildlife, of Iraq, of Palestine etc...etc... Do we take time to ask the person next to us, how his or her life is going? We just assume that everything is fine with the person, and if there's something wrong we will know.

But what we fail at seeing is how great an actor we all are. We are amazingly talented in hiding our true feelings. The truth is YOU WONT KNOW. You won't know if your spouse, siblings, parents, children, friends are going through something dark until you don't confront them. And in the same way, until you don't speak about it, no one else will know what you are going through. It's a myth that people who love you can sense if something's wrong. The truth is even if they sense it, your instinct of being normal, stops them from knowing anything substantial.

It's very very disturbing for me to hear of people taking their own life. I can't begin to comprehend the desolation they might have felt. Someone told me that it's usually that one moment where they get all that courage to attempt suicide. It's the burst of either rage or sadness or contempt that just pushes them over the edge. But if only we could communicate better, maybe, just maybe a few innocent messed up lives could be saved.

We are living in a world filled with tools for communication. But we as humans have forgotten how to communicate what truly matters. We don't make the best use of these tools.

I don't think anyone, any life, can be so messed up that they can't be saved. For me the only important resource on this planet, in this universe is, my life. If I have my life, I can figure the rest of it. I love myself, my life with utmost passion. And so, seeing people throw away something so precious, always unsettles me.

It's not about how troubled you think they are, or if their problems are real or not, it's not about being judgemental, it's about being there for them, just listening to them, and telling that things will be alright.

See if you have that one confidant in your life, so when a storm hits you hard and you need someone to clean the debris, you have that person on speed dial. I don't think humans are incapable of empathy. So, if someone thinks that they can come to you, be there for them, unbiased. They don't need a judge at that time, there's thousands of them already doing that job.

I think we are all just caught up in a maze, thinking we won't be the one needing that kind of help, just like we think we won't die tomorrow. It's ignorance of the darker sides of life, that leaves a lot of us unprepared. And the society we live in, is very judgemental including ourselves. So it's very hard, when you start thinking, who can really see your naked soul? Who can help you when you need it?

Ask these questions if you haven't already. And try finding your true confidant or confidante in the sea of so called true relations you swim in; and find yourself lucky if someone thinks of you as theirs.

(Woke up to a suicide news, and hence all the blabbering. Had to get it out of my system, so I could get on with my life.)

Comments

Ahamasmi Yodha - My First Tattoo

I finally did it. It isn’t a great achievement to show off, but for me it’s one more item on my bucket list getting fulfilled. So I am very happy about it. What did I do? Oh like I said nothing great – I just got my FIRST Tattoo :) My first Tattoo Artist I had done a lot of research on it since last couple of months. I wanted to get it done on my birthday, but it somehow dint work out. For all the first timers, I wanted to list out my personal experience, just in case it helps :) First of all, I felt it will be very helpful if you have some friends who would have got it done already. But I dint have that privilege. So I went through lot of blogs and articles in About.com, Wikihow, YahooAnswers etc… Well Google, the new lord of knowledge :) has all that you need to know. So, in summary, what I got from all these sites were First decide on what you want to get tattooed and where. Go over it again and again, since it is permanent, you will have to live ...

Life... A Blank Page!

Whenever I open a notebook and come across the set of blank pages; my mind goes blank. For some reason, it always reminds me of my life. It forces me to start thinking about my life; about the past and the future. Being part of the age of computers and belonging to the IT industry, I hardly get an opportunity to actually pick a pen and write in the notebook. I write lot of blogs, poems etc… but I write them on the webpage or in Microsoft word in my laptop. Once in a while I like to go back to traditional form of writing; using the actual pen and paper. And in last few years; I noticed that every time I try doing that for some reason the blank paper gets me all philosophical. Although I never have that thought while opening the book; but whenever I see those blank pages; I just go blank. I always feel that my life is staring back at me with all those unanswered silenced questions, doubts, thoughts…forcing me to think – What does my lif...

Zindagi Gulzar Hai - A feast to ones eyes!

Today I am here to make a much interesting comparison of our current Indian TV industry with our neighboring country’s television industry. Interesting because I never thought I would ever engage in watching any of the Pakistan TV series/movies or listening to their music. My disinterest in Pakistan entertainment was not because of the tensed relationship with the country. But I myself am not a big fan of TV serials. The kind of drama that is filled in Indian TV Channels today is just exhausting and tiring to watch. I hardly follow any Indian TV series. When I visit home on vacation, I join my family in watching the program they watch and that’s how I keep myself updated with what is trending in the TV industry. I love listening to music and I listen to all genres of music. I did start listening to Pakistani music since last few years and have admired their music. Strings, Fuzon, Kaavish, Jal, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Ghulam Ali, Parveen Abida, Quratulain Baloch and many ...

Uncovered, Not Exposed

After ages of procrastination, I finally decided to try formal art classes. I had always feared that rules would take the fun out of my art. Art is where I go to unwind and let my mind wander, and the idea of placing boundaries in that safe space never sat well with me. But this year, I signed up for weekend spring classes; telling myself to keep an open mind and take in only what resonated. I was intimidated - I didn't know if this would draw me deeper into art or push me away. To my surprise, it was overwhelming, but in the best possible way. The reason for this post is however not to cover my art journey ( I have just started so I will give it some time to settle in ); but instead to capture my thoughts upon observing a profession in real life that I have only watched on screen - Live nude models. And the quiet power of their bare form. I spent an entire day observing nude male and female body for figure drawing, and it blew my mind in ways I had not expected. ...

Solitude Meets Homesickness

I get asked a lot about my experience of staying alone. I stay alone, and hardly attend any social events apart from visiting couple of friends, once in 2-3 months. I reserve all my social energy for when am back home, where I throw myself into meeting all the loved ones I grew up with. And that happens once a year (due to Covid, it's over due by 2 years now). Anyway, my standard answer is although it comes naturally to me, to enjoy my solitude (the very definition is to be alone without feeling lonely) , I have learnt that it's not otherwise easy. And it isn't really something that everyone's personality blends into. My natural state of restlessness, forces me to indulge in numerous activities, keeping myself engaged, intrigued and entertained. And with time, it's become next to impossible to allow someone new to enter my personal space - whether as a roommate or a partner. That doesn't mean I am an introvert. If you meet me in a social gathering, you can easil...

Alone & Happy, not Lonely!

There's a difference between the two states of being; being alone & being lonely. I am single and have been alone in new places all by myself; with little or no acquaintances; let alone friends. When you are single, it's a common norm for rest of the world to investigate about your companionship needs. Single people are often surrounded with friends and family that give them company. In my case, I have got used to staying alone as well. And trust me I do just fine. I do miss them but I don't get depressed or frustrated when I don't find the company of my friends or family. So I am single and alone and happy. That said, it's not that I don't have friends or I am not social. I am very social, enjoy parties, hangout with friends when I meet them; I am not an introvert, am more of a happy go lucky kinda person. When I say I am alone, I am in company of myself. And I have realized that I enjoy my company a lot, so I never feel lonely. ...

You don’t know me

You don’t know me. And what you know of me is not even half of who I am. It’s not that I am too private. I say what I feel, and although I am on open book, I am just not too easily readable. But tell me, why would you want to know me? Or rather know EVERYTHING about me? We as humans obsess about knowing everything about each other, especially about the ones we love. We want to believe that we KNOW what they think, what they like, who they are etc.. I think it comes to us naturally. But, we don’t. No matter how close we are, there’s a part of us that’s always too private. That cannot be shared. Sometimes we ourselves don’t know who we are. I believe, you should just be happy with the part they share with you, and who they are when they are around you. And remember, who they are when they are with you depends on who you are around them. There’s always a disclaimer- they are a different person when they are with someone else. And they are a different person when t...

तेरा सफ़र , तेरी मंज़िल..

जिस राह पे तू चलता है राही, कभी उसकी मंज़िल को पेहचाना है तूने जहाँ तक तेरी नज़र जाती है, बस वहीँ तक का सफ़र नहीं है तेरा वो जो अनदेखा छिपा है उस मोड़ की आड़ में, उसकी भनक भी नहीं तुझे फिर कैसे तू केहता है " मैं जानता हूँ कहाँ मेरी मंज़िल है" कभी सिर्फ धूप में चला तो कभी शीतल छाओं में कभी दोस्तों के संग मस्ती में तो कभी अकेले अपनी तन्हाई में कभी मेहबूबा की मुहोब्बत में डूबा तो कभी अपने गमों के सागर में पर चाह के भी रुक़ न सका तू, चाह के भी मुड़ न सका तू जिसे तूने मंज़िल समझा वो तो बस एक पड़ाव निकला लाख कोशिश की तूने पर उस पड़ाव पर डेरा ना डाल सका वो सब जो तुझे प्यारे थे पीछे छूट गए , चाह के भी तू उनकी राह पे चल ना सका नए लोगों से नए रिश्तों से बंधता टूटता चला, अपने आपको डून्ड़ता चला तू मुसाफिर है तो ये क्यूँ नहीं मानता की जो राह में तुझे मिले उनका कोई भरोसा नहीं जिस राह पे जिस मौसम में तू चल रहा है वो भी बदल जायेंगे जब तू अपनी मंज़िल पे पहुंचेगा तो पता नहीं किसे संग पायेगा. ...

Compliment Someone, Because, Why Not?

Last week a customer service lady at self-checkout area of Loblaws walked up to me and asked if I was at the store the previous day. I indeed was. I was surprised she remembered me, and was also confused as to why would it matter if I showed up on consecutive days. You know how at times your brain goes a million miles per sec and causes you to question all your life choices? I was running all the reasons in my head as to why someone would care about my grocery schedule. So, it was in that slightly confused state I replied, albeit politely “ Yes, I was here yesterday. The huge watermelon I bought did not allow me to complete my entire grocery checklist as I had reached my single trip haul limit, so I am here again to buy rest of my items ”. Meanwhile, my inner voice was shouting “ Why are you justifying your grocery trip to this random lady? Like who cares? ” Me being me, where my face clear as water always shows what I feel inside; she must have seen that confusion clearly danci...

Radha-Krishan jaisi jodi hai!! But Why?

I was with couple of my friends on a trip earlier this month, when we landed on the topic of Radha while listening to the song “ Radha on the dance floor, Radha wants to party …” from the movie Student of the Year . My friend suddenly told “ Isn’t our culture a little strange? Although Radha and Krishna were never married, every time people see a good couple they say “ RadhaKrishan jaisi Jodi hai! ”(ie. Couple like Radha-Krishna). ” For those who aren’t familiar with Hindu mythology; Radha & Krishna appear in the Dvapara Yuga which is the 3 rd out of four yugas (4 th one being Kali Yuga, the current one that we all are part of). Radha is considered an incarnation of Goddess Lakshmi and Krishna is the Eighth incarnation of Lord Vishnu. Radha and Krishna are most popularly known and worshipped as RadhaKrishna – in one form. Radha is Krishna’s supreme beloved and his childhood friend. Acrylic Painting of Krishna with his Flute - By Me. The Lord and His consort are refe...

When Silence Speaks...

Search This Blog