Skip to main content

My Favorite Read - 9 - Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Can you ever KNOW the people you really love? And how much of what you already know about them is true?

“In the dark they are careful of each other, as if they know they are fragile, as if they know they can break.” 


This book has compressed a lot of strong topics and deep emotions into just twelve chapters, but the 2 key things that I connected to was Ng's style of portraying society's constant persuasion to blend in and the bitter-sweet sibling bond. 


What made something precious? Losing it and finding it.” 


Of course it revolves around racial biases, which you can relate to the most if you are an immigrant or as they call an alien in America. But I looked at it a bit differently. To me it felt like the constant urge to fit in when you really didn't want to, it was unrelated to mixed race or immigrants. 
It was just how Ng described the way of the world, the silent agreement that no one felt the need to spell out. Just wear this or do this or say this because everyone's doing it. Be like everyone.

And then, there's siblings account of every event. Nath, Lydia & Hannah. 


They never discussed it, but both came to understand it as a promise: he would always make sure there was a place for her. She would always be able to say, Someone is coming. I am not alone.” 


It's a poignant story, one that will make you cringe every now and then.  Maybe it's because I haven't read a lot of novels on siblings, but even if I end up reading hundreds of more such novels, Nath, Lydia and Hannah will remain etched in my memory.  

He pushed her in. And then he pulled her out. All her life, Lydia would remember one thing. All his life, Nath would remember another.” 


I could see a reflection of my actions or words on a few occasions, a glimpse of my sister and I in few emotions. It just reminded me again of how little we put in words of what we truly feel. Of how easily we get bogged down by the expectations of our loved ones. Of all the wrong assumptions we make of one another, and how we never speak of it to ever give it a chance to be clarified.


The things that go unsaid are often the things that eat at you—whether because you didn't get to have your say, or because the other person never got to hear you and really wanted to.” 


That telephone conversation between Nathan and Lydia, those intermittent monologue of Hannah, the final stand off between Jack and Nath, when Nath brought up the topic of astronauts to James the first time, how Lydia received the book "How to win friends and influence people" as a gift, Nath asking for hard boiled eggs when Marilyn returns  - and many more such heart wrenching accounts, it will linger in your mind for quite sometime.

She recognized it at once: love, one-way deep adoration that bounced off and did not bounce back; careful, quiet love that didn't care and went on anyway.” These are the words Ng used to describe a one sided love.

"A million little chances to change the future" - that's what we all think while looking back at life as we have already lived.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Zindagi Gulzar Hai - A feast to ones eyes!

Today I am here to make a much interesting comparison of our current Indian TV industry with our neighboring country’s television industry. Interesting because I never thought I would ever engage in watching any of the Pakistan TV series/movies or listening to their music. My disinterest in Pakistan entertainment was not because of the tensed relationship with the country. But I myself am not a big fan of TV serials. The kind of drama that is filled in Indian TV Channels today is just exhausting and tiring to watch. I hardly follow any Indian TV series. When I visit home on vacation, I join my family in watching the program they watch and that’s how I keep myself updated with what is trending in the TV industry. I love listening to music and I listen to all genres of music. I did start listening to Pakistani music since last few years and have admired their music. Strings, Fuzon,  Kaavish, Jal, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Ghulam Ali, Parveen Abida, Quratulain Baloch and many ...

My Favorite Read - 6 - The Climb by Anatoli Boukreev (and Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer)

So, now that I want to get into some serious mountaineering activities, I started with reading books on mountains. When you check for top few books on mountains the one that comes up is " Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer " followed by “  The Climb by Anatoli Boukreev" ; both based on the 1996 Everest disaster which was made quite controversial. I started with "Into Thin Air' and while I was reading, I was continuously in conflict with Jon's views. Mind you, my memory is pretty weak when it comes to remembering details of any story - whether its books or movies. I had watched few documentaries and the Everest movie based on this topic; but that was a while ago. when I started reading this book 2 weeks back, I had no background; you can say I was totally new to this story.  And yet, it was difficult for me to understand some of Jon's accusations or feelings.  But nevertheless, Jon's style of writing was amazing; he knew how to keep reader's...

Life... A Blank Page!

Whenever I open a notebook and come across the set of blank pages; my mind goes blank. For some reason, it always reminds me of my life. It forces me to start thinking about my life; about the past and the future. Being part of the age of computers and belonging to the IT industry, I hardly get an opportunity to actually pick a pen and write in the notebook. I write lot of blogs, poems etc… but I write them on the webpage or in Microsoft word in my laptop.  Once in a while I like to go back to traditional form of writing; using the actual pen and paper. And in last few years; I noticed that every time I try doing that for some reason the blank paper gets me all philosophical.         Although I never have that thought while opening the book; but whenever I see those blank pages; I just go blank. I always feel that my life is staring back at me with all those unanswered silenced questions, doubts, thoughts…forcing me to think – What does my lif...

Ahamasmi Yodha - My First Tattoo

I finally did it. It isn’t a great achievement to show off, but for me it’s one more item on my bucket list getting fulfilled. So I am very happy about it. What did I do? Oh like I said nothing great – I just got my FIRST Tattoo  :) My first Tattoo Artist I had done a lot of research on it since last couple of months. I wanted to get it done on my birthday, but it somehow dint work out.  For all the first timers, I wanted to list out my personal experience, just in case it helps :) First of all, I felt it will be very helpful if you have some friends who would have got it done already. But I dint have that privilege. So I went through lot of blogs and articles in About.com, Wikihow, YahooAnswers etc… Well Google, the new lord of knowledge :) has all that you need to know. So, in summary, what I got from all these sites were First decide on what you want to get tattooed and where. Go over it again and again, since it is permanent, you will have to live ...

When Life Humbles You

When you are planning life, life makes it's own plans and often takes you by surprise. Not that you grow arrogant knowingly, but we all tend to take life for granted while on our mission to success. There are often times when we oversee simpler yet most important ingredients of life. I believe that's when someone takes control of  life  to put a brake and slow you down. It has various innovative ways to slow you down. Nothing uncommon in the world, but definitely very new to you. I have always been slowed down by life, ever time I rushed through doing tens of thousands of things. Now looking back, I think once every 2-3 years, I am pulled over the freeway of life for speeding. This time it was my health. I have been an anti doctor anti hospital person despite of coming from family of doctors. I believe in home remedies. Steam will take care of my cold; drink some herbs for immunity, tolerate pain without painkillers, go to gym or running when you have headache so on and...

Arijit Singh - I Bow to You.

It's been a while that I have liked any latest songs. Songs from 80s and ghazals still play when I am in mood for some good music. Not that there hasn't been good music in recent past. But after a long time this song touched my soul. Arijit Singh had made it to my list of favorites long back. But he was still not in that elite league of singers to whom my head bows with respect - Jagjit Singh, Kishore Kumar, Lata Mangeshkar, Mohd. Rafi, Ghulam Ali, Mehdi Hasan, Bhimsen Joshi and M S Subbulaxmi . ( I am not listing the musicians here; just the singers who humble my heart and soul. I have a different list of elite musicians and directors and actors covering Yanni, Kenny G, Pancham Da, Hans Zimmer, Madhubala, K K menon, Aamir Khan and so on; whom I duly respect. But this post is dedicated to singers. ) I had been to Raazi movie last week and heard this song for the first time - Ae watan. I heard it again after that with my headphones on, eyes closed;and I just surrender...

Don't let the tamed ones tell you how to LIVE!

I came across this image on someone’s Facebook wall; and I couldn’t resist it. It triggered various thoughts in me that I was compelled to write a blog. I spent major part of my last decade trying to get things settled in; to plan for a backup with a backup so I could do something seriously adventurous. But it was not until late last year that I realized I should no longer wait for a timeline to stabilize professionally, financially, personally to pursue my interests. I don't need to follow a linear approach.  I don't think I can ever have enough savings to quit the job and pursue hiking/travelling/painting full time (and well, I am not a lottery person either). And I don't think I want to quit the job in the first place, I want to continue supporting my needs.  One thing that I did, last few years was try and pursue my interest whenever I got a chance. But what I started doing since last 6 months is, to create those opportunities to pursue my interests; and align...

Why "Wake Up Sid" movie is my favorite :)

I am very selective about the Bollywood movies that I choose to watch. I don’t like the typical commercial, masaledar movies without any storyline, characters, screenplay and acting. Most of them are ruled out just by looking at the Name of the movie, its banner, its actors and director. And some which pass these filter criteria get eliminated when I watch their trailers. Very few end up in my watch list. And some movies I end up watching forcibly with my family or friends. Wake up Sid was one such movie, that I came across because my friends chose to watch that movie over tea 4 yrs back. We never completed watching that movie; couple of them found it boring and we got deviated from watching the movie into some other matargashti . I think 2 years back, when I was finding something to watch, I picked up this movie – just because I wasn’t finding anything appealing to watch. And I simply fell in love with this movie despite of its weak story. Konkana Sen is a talented actress ...

Bose Fan - Forever! QuietComfort is quite a comfort!!

I don't usually write product review blogs, but today I realized I have been enjoying this product for over a decade, and it has been major part of my life; so it definitely deserves a recognition and my thank you. I became a Bose fan back in 2009. I wanted a new set of earphones, and I did some research, and thought of giving their in-ear headphones a try. That was it. There was no looking back. I never put any other earphones into my ear since then.  https://www.bose.ca/en_ca/products/headphones/earphones/soundsport-in-ear-headphones-apple-devices.html#v=soundsport_ie_headphones_ii_apple_energy_green I kept replacing the worn-out Bose earphones for next 8 years. I think I replaced them 3 times in over 8 years; and that's awesome durability for an earphone when its owner is a person who always had her ears plugged in - at work, during travel, at home, at gym, on hikes, when going to sleep etc.. (and am no delicate handler.) Year 2017- I was t...

Alone & Happy, not Lonely!

There's a difference between the two states of being; being alone & being lonely.  I am single and  have been  alone in new places all by myself; with little or no acquaintances; let alone friends. When you are single, it's a common norm for rest of the world to investigate about your companionship needs.  Single people are often surrounded with friends and family that give them company.   In my case, I have got used to staying alone as well. And trust me I do just fine. I do miss them but I don't get depressed or frustrated when I don't find the company of my friends or family. So I am single and alone and happy. That said, it's not that I don't have friends or I am not social. I am very social, enjoy parties, hangout with friends when I meet them; I am not an introvert, am more of a happy go lucky kinda person. When I say I am alone, I am in company of myself. And I have realized that I enjoy my company a lot, so I never feel lonely.  ...