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My Favorite Read - 9 - Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Can you ever KNOW the people you really love? And how much of what you already know about them is true?

“In the dark they are careful of each other, as if they know they are fragile, as if they know they can break.” 


This book has compressed a lot of strong topics and deep emotions into just twelve chapters, but the 2 key things that I connected to was Ng's style of portraying society's constant persuasion to blend in and the bitter-sweet sibling bond. 


What made something precious? Losing it and finding it.” 


Of course it revolves around racial biases, which you can relate to the most if you are an immigrant or as they call an alien in America. But I looked at it a bit differently. To me it felt like the constant urge to fit in when you really didn't want to, it was unrelated to mixed race or immigrants. 
It was just how Ng described the way of the world, the silent agreement that no one felt the need to spell out. Just wear this or do this or say this because everyone's doing it. Be like everyone.

And then, there's siblings account of every event. Nath, Lydia & Hannah. 


They never discussed it, but both came to understand it as a promise: he would always make sure there was a place for her. She would always be able to say, Someone is coming. I am not alone.” 


It's a poignant story, one that will make you cringe every now and then.  Maybe it's because I haven't read a lot of novels on siblings, but even if I end up reading hundreds of more such novels, Nath, Lydia and Hannah will remain etched in my memory.  

He pushed her in. And then he pulled her out. All her life, Lydia would remember one thing. All his life, Nath would remember another.” 


I could see a reflection of my actions or words on a few occasions, a glimpse of my sister and I in few emotions. It just reminded me again of how little we put in words of what we truly feel. Of how easily we get bogged down by the expectations of our loved ones. Of all the wrong assumptions we make of one another, and how we never speak of it to ever give it a chance to be clarified.


The things that go unsaid are often the things that eat at you—whether because you didn't get to have your say, or because the other person never got to hear you and really wanted to.” 


That telephone conversation between Nathan and Lydia, those intermittent monologue of Hannah, the final stand off between Jack and Nath, when Nath brought up the topic of astronauts to James the first time, how Lydia received the book "How to win friends and influence people" as a gift, Nath asking for hard boiled eggs when Marilyn returns  - and many more such heart wrenching accounts, it will linger in your mind for quite sometime.

She recognized it at once: love, one-way deep adoration that bounced off and did not bounce back; careful, quiet love that didn't care and went on anyway.” These are the words Ng used to describe a one sided love.

"A million little chances to change the future" - that's what we all think while looking back at life as we have already lived.



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