When Silence Speaks...

Bidding farewell to another year, another 365 days spent out of my life's account.  This year went fast, although quite a number of days rather months were very slow; painfully slow. But yet an eventful year, with a lot of high tides; well I sailed through just fine; like every other years that passed by.  It's amazing how at a given moment you always feel you are shattered within or it's just way too much to handle. But things fall in place seemingly without effort; yet in the process you would have drained out so much that you feel there is no bit of strength left to even live another second. But what the heck, we survive and not only that we come out stronger than before.  I learnt a lot this year, about myself, about people, about the rights and wrongs, about law, about betrayal, about cowards, about good luck, about simple happiness and about many other things. This year I continued my painting, poetry, running, boxing, hiking, driving. What I did new this ...

Have you ever felt the helplessness when you have to pay for someone else's mistake? That anger, that frustration - it's a feeling one can't put to words. A kind of suffocation. When you are being punished and you go through the punishment, but you really don't know what your mistake was? I don't mind making my mistakes, and burning my hands during the course of it. But what I cannot handle is to pay for some coward's mistake. Well the irony of life is, you will have to do it. So you give it the name of fate - things that you cannot control falls into the boundary of that someone who oversees everyone.  At times I wonder, what's the meaning of all these events that have taken place in my life. Why what happened ever happen if it was to end up in a phase as it is today? You do your best to take right decisions; and because you are not smart enough to see through people's mask; your decisions fire back on you very harshly. But truly friends, I s...

अरमानों का गला घुटते कभी देखा है तुमने  न सिसकियो की आवाज़ आती है  न घुटन की तड़प दिखती है  जनाज़ा ज़रूर उठता है उसकी इस दुनिया से  पर इतनी ख़ामोशी से की उसके जाने के गम में कभी मैखाने में तो कभी किसी हंसी के पीछे बेहते है आंसू !!  -सरिता  Dated - 19th Dec 2016

This one won't be a long post. It's just a bookmark to separate an end of another chapter of my life and beginning of a new one. I am a person who has evolved a lot over last few years; and one of the trait attributed to this evolution is my attitude of celebrating life. What happened today, does not deserve to be a milestone in my life. But it definitely does deserve a slot in my memory box; for what it's worth; it reinforced my belief in self, and appreciate my personality.  When I shared this with a friend (who I am thankful to for many other things in different phases of my life); he made a statement during the conversation; which I have captioned as my post title.  Courtesy - Google Images Yes. I have the  freedom  of living this moment independently. I have the freedom of expressing my independence. I have the luxury of enjoying this freedom of my independence. Yes, as my friend rightly stated; I have the freedom of independence. And, like e...

I am sure, each one of us would have encountered a situation atleast once in our lifetime, when you find something you lost a while back! You might have searched for it like crazy and found it or left hope of finding it at all and all of sudden one day you find - just like that. That feeling of finding something you lost - is that plain happiness you can't explain. I don't lose things; almost never. So when, even once in a blue moon, I do lose something; it troubles me a lot; like a lot!! It's not the money that I care for; It's most of the time; an ego of how can I misplace or lose something; or otherwise sadness of losing something invaluable like an old photo or old letter ; so on. Today was one such day.  I went to gas station, swiped my card and very confidently placed the wallet on the front hood of my jeep tucked under the wiper's base on  the driver's side. Filled the gas, boarded my Jeep, and drove off. While placing the wallet on the hood; I r...

Tools ready; Link removal in progress Yesterday was a day well spent. To start with, I almost did a Ph.D on Tire pressure, what should be ideal psi for cold weather (Yeah it snowed in Denver and my Jeeps psi indicator started blinking showing low pressure).  I thought that was my achievement, but No.  Links removed!!Yayy!! Perfect Fit!! Complete Satisfaction :D I had got a new watch for myself and as usual they were a little large for my wrist. So I was wondering where to go to get it resized, I did a google search to find a watch repair store near me. And, then just like that, I searched "How to remove watch band links" and I got a number of videos and links. I clicked one of them and saw that it can be done in house.  Well, the keeda in me started wriggling; so I decided to resize my watch in-house. I was a bit nervous; for one because it was an expensive model of Marc Jacobs watch;but then I thought, it's okay; worst case I wont be able to remove...

क्यों आज बदले से मिज़ाज़ है इन धड़कनों की जैसे कोई नई साज़िश रच रही हैं ये क्यों आँखों में अजब सी बेताबी है जैसे कोई खोयी परछाई दिख गयी है इन्हें जो बिखरे अलफ़ाज़ कहे थे मेरे सपनों में तुमने क्या हकीकत में उन्हें जोड़ पाओगे कभी क्या तुम्हारा भी दिल हर वो साँसे गिनता है कभी जो मेरी आहट सुन ने के तरस में लिए थे तुमने ये उलझन ये बेचैनी ये कश्मकश सिर्फ मेरे नहीं तुम्हारे भी तो हैं ये इंतज़ार ये जस्बात ये चाहत सिर्फ तुम्हारे नहीं मेरे भी तो हैं !! -सरिता  Dated - 8th November 2016

One of the dialogue by Francis Underwood, in the opening scene of the Netflix drama series "House of Cards" goes like this, There are 2 kinds of Pain. Sort of pain that makes you strong. Or useless pain, the sort of pain that's only suffering. I have no patience for useless things. Moments like this will require someone who will act, who will do the unpleasant thing, the necessary thing. There. No more pain.  True. I cannot agree more to this viewpoint.  It's left to our intelligence to choose the kind of pain we have to bear and the duration we need to suffer and the manner in which we choose to endure the pain. Everything is in our hands.  The sort of pain that makes us stronger, physical/emotional/mental, no matter which one, is always good. It's food for enhancing our strengths and abilities further. But the kind that makes us feel miserable, that constantly deteriorates us in all realms (physically/emotionally/mentally), is USELESS.  And such pa...

फ़िर छिड़ी गुफ़्तगू तन्हाइयों की, माज़ी से जब आज भी आँसू दोहराए गुज़रे कल के किस्से आज भी गूँजती है बरसों पुरानी हंसी आज भी ताज़ा है हर वो लब्ज़ सूखी आज भी झलकता है अश्क़ नमकीन यादों की आज भी जगती है आरज़ू बीती ज़िन्दगी की दर्द जब दिल में हद से ज़्यादा भर जाये तो बेहती है धारा बन नज़्मों की आँसू अब नहीं करते ज़ाया हम बस लफ़्ज़ों की माला बुनते है कोरे पन्नों पे माज़ी से शिकायत तो आज भी है पर शायद बेहद्द चाहत भी उसी से है !! - सरिता  Dated - 28th October 2016

घंटों पत्तर के मूर्ति के सामने दिल का हाल बयान करते है हम ख़ामोशी में कभी सवालों के जवाब ढुंढते तो कभी गिले शिकवे करते है हम दिल को फिर भी सुकून मिलता है, की उसमें छिपा भगवान् सुन रहा है हमे और वहीँ इंसानो के इस मेहफिल में चाहे सीना छीर कर चिल्लाए हम या खून के आंसू रोये हम बेअसर हो गुज़रते है अपने ऐसे, मानो जैसे किसी शून्य में खड़े है हम यही तेरा अनोखा अंदाज़ ए दुनिया इंसान पत्तर बनते जा रहे है और पत्तर भगवान बनकर जीने का सहारा!! - सरिता  Dated - 26th October 2016

One of the famous series that's quite popular after Friends is How I met your mother?   A light mood comedy series that just brightens us up with good humor and laughter. Barney Stinson, an annoying character of this series is also a charm of the series. I never thought while I watched this series years back; that someday something he blabbers on screen would not only make sense but also motivate me. If you ever hear Barney's dialogues, it's difficult to say that those make sense at all, straight forward annoying yet funny lines.  But his style of calling himself "A.W.E.eee wait for it .. S.O.M.Eee" is something that we also must try once in a while. As I struggle to stand my ground in a whirlpool of problems today, I realized that to re-build confidence in self is so important.  It's very easy to get confused with what you want, when you start chewing in everyone's feedback/thoughts/reactions on your problems. You can't avoid sharing your prob...

मग़रूर है हम, केहते हैं वो अब कैसे बताएं की ये तो बस हमारा गुरूर है  टूट कर भी बिखरे टुकड़े नज़र नहीं आने देते  ये पत्थर दिली नहीं बस इसी गुरूर की मजबूरी है  अब तो हुज़ूर  हमारे साथ ही खाख होगा ये गुरूर हमारा - सरिता  Dated - 6th October 2016

There are very few movies that not only pass on a message but also leave a trail of thoughts in your head. I have very few such movies in my list that gained my respect, PINK is one of them. A simple story, but so well crafted and with a strong message, that especially our society is in need of. It's not just the content and story of the movie, but the way it was delivered to the people; that awed me.  Other day I was asking my friend "I am surprised, how come there are no Dharnas or strike on street condemning the movie ". And he replied " Kyunki, directly inhone kuch nahi kaha. Kuch na kehkar bhi sab kuch keh diya. Jinko message samajhna tha, wo samajh gaye; jinko nahi wo kahe hue dialogues ko as is le liye ." And it's so true. It's the style in which this movie was delivered to us, common people, that makes it truly unique; one of it's kind in Bollywood industry. Some of the best dialogues that I liked. Every dialogue in this movie ...

तू जो है वो मैं नहीं और इसका मुझे कोई अफ़सोस नहीं मेरा वजूद मुझसे है...  सिर्फ मुझसे तुझसे नहीं बना है ये अस्तित्व मेरा डालूंगी अंकुश मैं तुम्हारे हर उस छोटी सोच पे जो बनके बेड़ियां मुझसे लिपटने की कोशिश करे दिया नहीं है हक़ मैंने किसीको कि फिरे वो नियमों का जाल मेरे लिए सौ दफ़ा रोकोगे तो हज़ार गुना बड़ेगा हौसला मेरा जितनी बंदिशे डालेगा तू उतनी ही खुलके उड़ना सीखूंगी मैं मैं जैसी हूँ, वैसी ही हूँ, और वैसी ही होगी हंसती मेरी तू जो है वो मैं नहीं और इसका मुझे कोई अफ़सोस नहीं !! - सरिता  Dated - 20th Sep 2016

बेवज़ह जो गुनगुनाऊँ वो धुन हो तुम  बेफिक्र हो फ़िरने की चाह हो तुम  बेसब्र आँखों का वो इंतज़ार हो तुम  बेनाम रिश्ते की पेहचान हो तुम  बेवक़्त जो होंटों पे आये वो मुस्कुराहट हो तुम  बेबस अश्कों की सच्ची दास्ताँ हो तुम  बेईमान ख्वाबों की हकीकत हो तुम बेइन्तेहाँ चाहत का टूटा शीशा हो तुम...  -सरिता  Dated - 19th Sep 2016

आपकी ख़ामोशी की लहरों में डूबने दे हमें लफ़्ज़ों में खो जाने के लिए तो पूरी दुनिया है आपके पास एहमकाना हरकत ही चाहे समझ लें ज़माना इसे तोहमत तब भी लगी थी जब हमारे अश्कों में आप घुले थे एक इलज़ाम आज और सही, मुहोब्बत में आबाद ना सही तो बदनाम ही हो जाने दीजिये हमें ! -सरिता  Dated - 13th Sep 2016

AROHAK - is a Sanskrit word that stands for " one who climbs" (AROHAN - means Climbing).  As I continue my venture of hiking different mountains, I thought of having one post that references to all of my hiking experiences; and this is my master post :) What does Hiking mean to me? When I started hiking, it dint have any great importance then, it was just for fun. But today, as I continue to attempt more strenuous hike, it has started giving me much more than "just for fun" feeling.  Hiking teaches you to push yourself beyond your limits.  When you just slam your back against a rock all exhausted saying you cannot hike for even one more minute; and then continue to hike for another 5 hours; it shows that you are never really done when you say you are.  When you pull your muscles so bad and you think you cannot take another step; but yet continue to hike for another 4 miles; bearing the pain taking just one more step at a time; you prove to yourself...

Back in school days, my Amma would act as if our exams were end of the world. If she would see us standing or sitting idle, hell would be bought on us. We would read and read and read. She was persistent about us studying well. She would always tell that she wanted us to be independent and self reliant. Same was the case with my dad. But he was different in handling it. He did always mention how important being educated was. How important logical thinking and decision making was. We were bought up saying ethics & principles were far more important than money. What others think don't matter as much as what you think about yourself.  Back then Papa always repeated that what we are seeing now is not life. Real life begins after you step out of home and college, and real exam begins there. How well you perform there is all that matters, not all these exams. And we were like huh!! like really? Papa stop kidding. You have no idea what a hell it is , how much we have to study and ...

This thought (of  what defines a good human being?)  has come and gone in my head millions or zillions of time till now; so I thought I must write a summary about it. My mom keeps referring to a relative as " You know, he is a good human being. Today he might not be saying/doing xyz; but he is good at heart ". My friend refers to another friend as " Well, no matter what he does, deep down he is a good person ." I have come across many such references; and I have argued about it as well. As I sit today thinking about it, I wanted to write down, on what really defines good human being;and that people are just over taxing that word using it where it does not really belong. Here's my thought. Being a silent person, not reacting to situations where required, staying low or out of 'trouble', one whose actions are controlled by someone or something else - DOES NOT mean he/she is a good person. It just means he is a normal human being . Being a so c...

खामोशी में गूँजते हर उस लफ्ज़ को सुना हमने तनहाई में लिए हर उस आह को मेहसूस किया हमने ख़ुशियों से रिश्ता निभाने की कोशिश में दर्द से गेहरा नाता जोड़ लिया हमने !! - सरिता Dated - 22nd Aug 2016

 दर्द भी तुम्ही देते हो, और हमदर्द भी खुद ही बनते हो रास्ते में कांटे खुद ही बिछाकर , हमसफ़र बन साथ चलते हो  जहाँ  हर रिश्ते मतलबी हो, वहां ज़िन्दगी एक तुझपे ही तो ऐतबार है शिकवा नहीं तुझसे कोई क्योंकि  ज़ख्म अगर देते भी हो, तो उसपे मरहम भी तुम ही लगाते हो!! -सरिता  Dated - 27th July 2016

Well, I had this post title drafted 7 months back, when I bought a Jeep Wrangler (i t's Sunset Orange color)  and my friend suggested that I should write a blog  " The Girl with Orange JEEP " . But I did not feel like writing the post. Just to brag that I got a Jeep, and which I have just been using to drive to - from Office or Grocery stores or Malls - Naaah!! Would be insulting the spirit of Jeep! But today, I am more than excited to write this blog. Yes, about the Girl with an Orange Jeep and her experience on her first long drive; that too to the home of Jeeps - Utah!! Well, I  call my Jeep - AROHAK . (Arohan means Climbing in Sanskrit; Arohak means one who climbs) The maximum distance that I drove till then was to a mall 19 miles from my home - 20-25 minutes drive - that was it. So, there were just 2 things I wanted to cover in this trip. 1. Drive my Jeep the entire trip. 2. Photography of  Utah Landscape/Arches during  Sunrise, Sunset and Nigh...